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My Child Dislikes Reading (Despite His Talent)
by Emma Foster
Updated: Oct. 15, 2021
Originally Published: Oct. 15, 2021
I’ve always recognized the value of nurturing a love for reading. From the moment I could piece together sentences, I’ve been an avid reader. I was reading before I even started kindergarten and tackled chapter books by first grade. Words come easily to me. (Don’t even ask about my math skills; that’s a different story altogether.)
When I was expecting my first child, I began gathering books. Our collection now includes hundreds of children’s titles, many passed down from a family I cared for during my twenties. These books hold a special place in my heart. I spent countless hours sorting and displaying them on shelves, eagerly awaiting my baby’s arrival, convinced I would raise a little reader.
As soon as he was born, I read to him constantly. By the time he turned two, getting him to sit still was like wrestling a wriggly alligator. But once I managed to settle him down, I could usually get through a few pages before he’d become a floppy noodle and slide off the couch.
Now, my firstborn is almost nine. He’s the eldest of three and truly brilliant. I know every parent claims their child is exceptional, but he’s the type of smart that makes me think, “Where did you come from?” My husband and I are both reasonably intelligent, but he operates on a different level. His thirst for knowledge seems limitless. We attempted homeschooling, but by the end of kindergarten, I realized I couldn’t provide the education he deserves. He requires the specialized attention found in gifted and talented programs, where experienced teachers can nurture his potential. I often find myself outsmarted by my third grader, and I’m perfectly okay with that. I cherish his remarkable intellect.
Sadly, he doesn’t share my enthusiasm for devouring books like I did at his age. So much for my hopes of raising a reader, right?
Generally, we don’t pressure our kids into activities they dislike. Baseball? Not for him. Ice skating? A no-go. Ninja Warrior classes? Not his thing. I allow my kids to explore different activities, and if they don’t enjoy them, they fulfill their commitments and we try something new. He’s shown interest in Scouts and basketball lately, so we’ll probably give one of those a shot. Eventually, something will click.
Except reading. Reading is different. My two younger children will receive the same encouragement regarding reading. For now, I read to them. My kindergartener has early reading skills similar to what my oldest had, so we have him read to us, too. We’re working on it.
But time is on our side with the younger ones. It’s my oldest son I’m particularly focused on converting, and my motivation isn’t simply stubbornness fueled by my dream of raising a reader. This isn’t like parents dreaming of a quarterback. It’s not about bragging rights or pride; honestly, who would I discuss my child’s reading habits with? It’s just odd.
This is about maximizing the incredible brain biology blessed my child with. For older kids, reading is essential for expanding vocabulary and understanding language. It’s fundamental for nurturing imagination and uncovering worlds beyond their everyday experiences. If my son opts for higher education, mastering the ability to focus on extensive reading is vital. He can start developing those skills now by reading daily.
Raising a reader matters to me because it’s what’s best for him. Even if reading didn’t come naturally to him, I would still encourage perseverance. In fact, if it were a struggle, I might be even more determined to foster a love for reading. Literacy is crucial; it opens doors that otherwise remain shut.
I’ve tried countless strategies. He’s always seen me engrossed in books since he was born. There are piles of books scattered throughout our home. We’ve implemented reading charts for rewards, but that didn’t spark any motivation. I’ve purchased him countless types of chapter books, yet he hasn’t found “the one” that ignites his interest. I’ve even allowed him to read on a tablet or computer if he’d just commit to reading. He does, albeit reluctantly. That’s not the experience I want for him. I hope to help him discover a passion for it.
I know he’s absorbing plenty of words at school and performing well, so I’m not worried about his reading ability. I just want him to realize how thrilling a great book can be. There are countless worlds that exist solely on paper, waiting to be explored. I still believe there’s a book out there that could change his perspective on the joys of reading.
My husband thought he didn’t enjoy reading until he met me. I helped him find the genres that piqued his interest, and now he loves it. I’m not alone in prioritizing the importance of cultivating a reader in our family.
I’m not going to pressure my child to the point of hating reading because of an overzealous mom. Forcing it would backfire. But I’m also not ready to give up on fostering a love for it either.
My next strategy involves borrowing a page from my own parents’ approach: a bedtime compromise. As a child, my bedtime was 8 PM, but if I wanted to read, I could keep my light on until 9:30. That extra hour and a half of reading each night is the reason I’m a writer today. I became captivated by beautiful sentences and wanted to create my own. It significantly influenced who I am.
I’m hopeful my child won’t find reading more tedious than bedtime. Perhaps the chance to stay up late will motivate him to push through the first chapter and uncover the treasures that good books offer. I may never transform him into an enthusiastic reader, but I’m determined to give it my best shot.
This article was originally published on Oct. 15, 2021.