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When discussing your grandest ambitions and how you’d spend your time if money and time weren’t an issue, there’s often a subtle pressure to respond with something like, “Travel the globe!” or “Relax on a tropical beach with friends!” or even “Buy a mansion to host extravagant parties!” While those might indeed be your dreams, what if the thought of constant travel and socializing feels more like a nightmare? What if, hypothetically, you struck it rich tomorrow, and your deepest desire was simply to remain home forever as a recluse?
For many, that’s the reality. It’s not about globe-trotting; it’s about snuggling up in your favorite chair with a good book. It’s not about dining at the trendiest restaurants; it’s about ordering takeout and never having to wear real pants again.
If you’re the adventurous extrovert who thrives on meeting new people and exploring new places, more power to you! Just remember to send a postcard. But if you identify as a cozy introvert who finds contentment in binge-watching shows, diving into books, and enjoying soup delivered via DoorDash, that’s perfectly okay too.
Every time I have an awkward encounter or inadvertently upset someone, I just want to retreat to my home and avoid them forever. The feeling of shame can be overwhelming.
Confessionals
Confessional #25854899: I think it’s safer for me to just stay home and keep quiet. We had what I thought was a lovely dinner with a friend recently, only to discover later that something my partner and I said upset her. It was unintentional, and now I can’t handle the drama. Bye-bye, socializing!
Confessional #25854894: As an introvert, along with some colleagues, I can confirm we’re often more productive than our extroverted teammates (whom I cherish) simply because we’re not gathered around chatting, laughing, and being distracted for hours.
Confessional #25854832: I want to quit interacting with people altogether. Whatever term you want to use—I am just exhausted from opening up, trusting others, and facing disappointment. I did my best, but I don’t think it’s worth it anymore. It’s much safer being at home with my child and my cat.
Confessional #19617140: Honestly, sometimes being around people can be really draining. They can be selfish, especially during a pandemic when we’re asked to consider others’ well-being. Or they can be overly dramatic and thrive on gossip. Even the genuinely kind ones can be exhausting with their endless chatter and energy, leaving me feeling depleted just by being near them.
Isolation isn’t new for me. I started retreating when my son was born because taking a colicky baby and a toddler anywhere was chaotic. It developed into social anxiety and postpartum depression, leading me to prefer staying home to heal from that stress. Now, thanks to the pandemic, I’m practically a hermit.
Confessional #25810125: Leave. Me. ALONE.
Confessional #25854849: My partner and my 17-year-old son are heading out for Spring Break in two weeks, while I stay home to catch up on work. Strangely, I think I’m just as excited about this week alone as they are about their trip to Disney World.
Confessional #25820989: All I want is to stay home, binge-watch TV, surf the internet, snack, text, chat, and avoid going out.
Confessional #25801701: Some of us genuinely enjoy solitude and just want to be left alone. No, Karen, I don’t want to attend your “candle party.” No, coworkers, I’m not interested in the grab-bag exchange at the company holiday gathering. No, mother-in-law, I don’t want to have dinner. I just want to be alone—totally alone.
Confessional #25854897: If it weren’t for my partner insisting we go out, I would exclusively use curbside pickup at our local stores. I dislike going out, but he feels the need to do so because he doesn’t trust them to pick exactly what he wants. If given a choice, I’d never step foot in a store again. I love being home.
Confessional #25813035: The more I stay home during lockdown, the less I want to venture out. This pandemic is transforming me into a reclusive hermit.
Confessional #25852225: I’m living the dream. My partner works so I don’t have to, my kids are relatively quiet and brilliant, and even my pets are great. I’m over society; I’m ready to hermit for life.
Confessional #25839179: At 57, with grown children and a retired partner, I’ve found that since Covid led me to embrace a hermit-like lifestyle, I never want to leave the house anymore. I’m not agoraphobic or depressed; I’m just content with my hobbies. Socializing is overrated.
And just because we enjoy our hermit lifestyles doesn’t mean we’re agoraphobic or that our reluctance to shop in stores stems from some traumatic past. It just means we genuinely love our homes—our kitchens, couches, beds, bathrooms, and the peace they offer. Hermits are going to hermit.
This upcoming trip has caused me panic attacks that I’ve never experienced before. I can’t wait for it to be over, to return home, and move on. Traveling to see family is something I dread, but I’m only doing it because my father passed away this year. After this, I’m done.
Confessional #25854896: I’m compiling excuses to avoid the holidays. “The flu” is my top choice—don’t want to deal with a bunch of judgmental people.
Confessional #25854881: I genuinely don’t care about Thanksgiving. I don’t understand it and find all the fuss pointless. I dislike sports and think parades are silly. I’m thrilled to stay home and enjoy a normal day with my family this year.
Confessional #25806752: I only truly love three people I share DNA with; everyone else can just go away.
Many people adore traveling, family gatherings, and socializing, and that’s fantastic for them. But for those of us who treasure solitude, a quiet holiday at home is the ultimate gift.
So, if you care about someone who dreads dressing up and socializing, consider giving them a day filled with none of that—a day of peace, tasty snacks, the remote control, and good books. Just say “happy birthday,” “happy holidays,” or simply “I love you!” and then leave them be. That’s what they truly desire, I guarantee it.
For more on this topic, check out some of our other blogs like this post on candid photography or visit Make a Mom for tips on boosting fertility. Additionally, Resolve provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
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