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Recently, I found myself in bed, zoning out with the TV, when my partner walked in. He settled next to me, turned off my show, and dimmed the lights. Pulling out his phone, he began a guided meditation—a deep breath in, deep breath out kind of session.
I attempted to follow along. I lay still with my eyes closed, listening to every suggestion. To an observer, I might have appeared serene and relaxed. But inside, my breathing was erratic, my heart raced, and my legs trembled. My mind was racing, filled with constant thoughts—because meditation, for me, only heightens my anxiety. I was on the brink of a panic attack.
I understand how odd this sounds. Meditation is meant to soothe the mind, to calm both body and spirit. Yet, despite trying it numerous times in various settings and with different audio guides, nothing seems effective. Focusing on my breath only makes me breathe harder, raising my heart rate and causing my thoughts to spiral. I sweat, shake, and feel more anxious. Silence feels like my adversary, and calmness isn’t my ally.
Interestingly, I’m not alone in this experience. A study from Coventry University found that one in twelve individuals who attempt meditation encounter adverse effects, such as increased anxiety or depression. “For most people, it works fine, but it has been overhyped and isn’t universally beneficial,” explained Miguel Farias, a researcher involved in the study. He noted that some individuals have reported heightened anxiety and even panic attacks. In my case, silence amplifies the negative voices in my head, telling me I’m inadequate or suggesting I should disappear. When I’m in a depressive state, these thoughts can become dangerously overwhelming.
Other research supports these findings. A 2017 study from Brown University indicated that many meditators report feelings of fear, anxiety, panic, and paranoia. Meditation instructors acknowledge these side effects as well. “When attempting to quiet the mind, it can sometimes rebel,” Katie Sparks, a psychologist, told New Scientist. “This backlash can lead to anxiety or depression.”
It’s important to note that many of these studies have limitations, such as small sample sizes and reliance on self-reported data, which can skew results, especially if participants are already in crisis. However, if you find that meditation heightens your anxiety rather than alleviates it, know that you’re not alone. It’s a practice that doesn’t suit everyone.
As for me, I’ve decided to step away from meditation for now. Instead, I’m focusing on coping mechanisms that work for me. I run frequently—logging over 30 miles a week. I meet with my therapist every Thursday, and when I’m in crisis, I can text her for an urgent catch-up. I also consult my psychiatrist twice a month; he provides a crucial support system. Plus, I take medication as needed, without guilt. Ultimately, what matters is how you feel while engaging in any practice.
If meditation works for you, that’s wonderful—keep it up. But if it leaves you feeling worse, take a moment to reassess. Understanding what is right for your body and mind is essential.
For more insights, check out our other blog posts, like this one, where we delve deeper into related topics. You can also visit Make a Mom for authoritative information on home insemination. Another excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination is the NHS.
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In summary, meditation isn’t the calming practice it’s often portrayed to be for everyone. While it may help some, it can exacerbate anxiety for others. Finding what works for you is key.
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