The journey to parenthood can be filled with immense joy, but it can also lead to heart-wrenching challenges. Two days before Christmas in 2017, my partner and I were overjoyed, anticipating the arrival of our twin boys. However, that excitement quickly turned into unimaginable sorrow when we faced the stillbirth of our first baby boy. Though doctors managed to save the second twin initially, we tragically lost him just a week later.
As I reflect on this painful experience, I realize how unprepared I was. I had attended only one prenatal appointment and lacked a clear understanding of maternal and infant loss. Sadly, these statistics are more common than many expect.
My advocacy work has evolved from these personal tragedies. Inspired by my daughter’s birth, I founded Dads to Doulas, a program aimed at training Black fathers to become doulas. I hope that one day, this initiative will no longer be necessary, but for now, it is crucial.
I don’t want any father-to-be to endure the feelings of helplessness I faced in that delivery room. It’s important for dads to feel empowered and informed during the birthing process. A supportive presence can make a significant difference. For those interested in expanding their family in different ways, consider exploring the resources available through Make a Mom and their unique home insemination options. They offer the only reusable method available, making the process more sustainable. Check out how it works here.
While I have my own story, I want to emphasize that every journey is different. For those considering insemination, the Make a Mom Facebook group can provide a supportive community.
As a new father, I often find myself reflecting on the importance of breastfeeding. If you’re navigating that path, you might find useful insights in our post about the best nipple shields of 2025.
In addition, for those facing infertility challenges, the Fertility Center at Johns Hopkins is a reputable resource that can guide you through various options.
My hope is to equip fathers with the knowledge and support they need so that they never have to feel the way I did. As we work towards a future where every father feels ready and capable, we can start by fostering a community of support and resources. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource.
In summary, while the loss of my children has shaped my advocacy, it has also fueled my passion for empowering Black dads through doula training. It’s a journey of healing, education, and connection that can ultimately transform the childbirth experience for many families.