Please Stop Requesting That I Give My Breastfed Baby a Bottle

According to NPR, only 13% of mothers manage to exclusively breastfeed for a full six months, which is the recommended duration for optimal infant health. I feel fortunate; I’ve nursed my two older children for over a year and a half each, and my daughter, at four months old, is still thriving on breast milk. However, my breastfeeding journey has certainly come with its challenges. From cracked nipples to thrush and milk blebs, I’ve faced plenty of hurdles, but my determination has never wavered. Despite the difficulties, the experience has always been rewarding for both me and my babies.

So please, I kindly ask you to refrain from asking when I plan to introduce a bottle to my breastfed baby. It’s baffling how often I encounter this question. Just because I step out with her, someone inevitably inquires, “Haven’t you started giving her a bottle yet?” Did I mention she’s only four months old?

Am I missing something? What exactly can a bottle offer her that I can’t provide while I’m right here with her? There are countless ways to bond without needing to feed her with a bottle. Please, let’s move on from that topic.

When I do leave her in rare instances, she has surprisingly adapted to a bottle without issues. However, introducing a breastfed baby to a bottle is not as straightforward as some might think. There’s the risk of nipple confusion, the learning curve of pace feeding, and the challenge of finding a bottle she’ll accept. It’s not simply a matter of trial and error. My mental well-being is a priority, and worrying about how you might feel about my breastfeeding choices is far down my list.

Let’s also consider the unique struggles faced by Black women when it comes to breastfeeding. According to the CDC, many Black mothers encounter barriers such as returning to work earlier, receiving less breastfeeding education from healthcare providers, and lacking access to professional support. Additionally, there’s the historical trauma surrounding slavery and the forced breastfeeding of others’ children. It’s disheartening to face judgement about my desire to nourish my own child.

Many women of color are primary breadwinners, often compelled to return to work sooner due to inadequate maternity leave in the U.S. This can hinder their ability to establish breastfeeding. I went back to work when my second son was just seven weeks old, and while I was able to pump, it was often in my car due to the lack of proper facilities. Conversations about breastfeeding among my millennial peers were sometimes odd—one coworker even said he wasn’t breastfed because it “felt gay.” This reflects the unfortunate over-sexualization of Black bodies.

All of this illustrates that mothers already face numerous challenges. We constantly worry about whether our babies are eating enough and gaining the right weight. We’re mindful of our diet and its impact on our milk supply. Questions arise: Should I take fenugreek? How much Body Armor is safe? Do I have mastitis or just a clogged duct?

Breastfeeding is no small feat, and I don’t need further commentary from the outside. Especially comments that contradict my long-term goals.

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In summary, the journey of breastfeeding comes with its own set of challenges and triumphs. From addressing societal pressure to navigating the complexities of infant feeding, it’s a deeply personal decision that deserves respect and understanding.

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