A Note of Appreciation to My Daughter’s Principal for Rejecting the ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ Mentality

pregnant woman sitting on bed in blue dress with coffee mug

Last week, I received a voicemail from my youngest daughter’s principal. I primarily know him as the person who does his utmost to prevent parent pick-up from escalating into chaos. So, when I heard his message about an incident at school, I was caught off guard. He didn’t convey an urgent tone, but, let’s be honest, getting a call from a principal (even as an adult) is nerve-wracking. I promptly returned his call.

Fortunately, there was no major issue at hand. It wasn’t about masking or quarantine, as I had feared. The principal reached out to inform me that my daughter had reported to the playground teacher that three boys were chasing her, attempting to corner her for a kiss. I wasn’t angry; I was simply shocked. My immediate thought was, especially with Covid concerns, absolutely not.

I understand they’re just six years old, so it might seem trivial on the surface. After all, it’s “just a game,” right? Wrong. Chasing someone can be a game if everyone involved is willing. However, pursuing someone to invade their personal space and kiss them is not playful—it’s inappropriate. And yes, they are certainly old enough to grasp that concept. There is nothing acceptable about intruding on someone else’s personal space, and thankfully, the principal echoed this sentiment. He mentioned that a discussion was held with the whole class, as well as individual conversations with the boys involved.

Respecting Personal Space is Crucial

I feel it’s vital to applaud how her principal addressed this situation. I swear, if I had received the old excuse of “boys will be boys,” I would have been ready to leap through the phone in full mama-bear mode. I’ve taught my daughters to defend their personal space and to respect others’. Having spent my life avoiding conflict when I felt uncomfortable, I understand the personal toll of not establishing boundaries. I am determined to ensure this won’t be the case for my daughters.

Will this eventually become a humorous story to share at her wedding? Perhaps, but I’m not ready to find humor in it just yet. Many things have evolved since my childhood, yet the notion of “boys will be boys” should have been left behind long ago. Regardless of gender, we need to stop trivializing invasions of personal space as childhood antics. Just because children are young doesn’t mean their bodily autonomy isn’t important.

Implementing Lessons on Consent

Conversely, it’s equally essential to teach our children about respecting others’ boundaries. This same daughter, who was pursued for a kiss, is an absolute sweetheart. Every child she plays with instantly becomes her friend, and if you’re her friend, she loves to give hugs. I frequently remind her that she must ask before hugging someone. Not everyone appreciates hugs, and especially amid Covid, it’s not wise to hug someone you’ve just met at your sister’s soccer practice.

It might seem odd that I encourage my six-year-old to always ask for permission before hugging, but it’s never too early to teach the significance of consent and personal space. She should seek permission, rather than forgiveness after an uncomfortable situation. I trust these lessons will benefit her as she navigates her own boundaries in the future. This experience has reinforced that she is truly absorbing these important lessons.

She felt uncomfortable and didn’t want those boys encroaching on her personal space. The principal made it clear to her that she did the right thing by informing the teacher, affirming that she had done nothing wrong and that no one has the right to touch her body. Such validation is critical. Too often, issues like this are brushed aside—not necessarily because they’re not significant, but often due to a lack of resources or staffing in schools and daycares to address what may seem like minor concerns. When a child is encouraged to speak out, and then their concerns are overlooked, it is deeply invalidating. We witness this repeatedly with survivors of assault, harassment, and abuse.

As I mentioned, kids will be kids, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have their boundaries and personal space respected. The sooner we instill this understanding in them, the brighter our future will be. I’m grateful to have my daughter’s principal as an ally in this journey.

For more engaging content, check out one of our other blog posts here. Additionally, for authoritative information on home insemination, visit Make a Mom. For more resources on pregnancy, the Fertility Center at Johns Hopkins is an excellent reference.

Search Queries:

Summary:

This article expresses gratitude to a principal for addressing an inappropriate behavior incident at school without resorting to the outdated “boys will be boys” excuse. It emphasizes the importance of teaching children about consent and personal space, highlighting the need for schools to support children’s boundaries. The author reflects on the significance of validation in such situations and the ongoing necessity for societal change regarding respect for personal space.

Keyphrase: principal respect for personal space

Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]