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For many parents, particularly moms, one of the most challenging aspects of parenthood—especially during the baby and toddler phases—is the overwhelming sensation of being “touched out.” With little ones constantly seeking attention, whether it’s a baby nursing or a toddler climbing into your lap, personal space becomes a distant memory. And just when you manage to get them all settled in their beds, your partner is there, wanting affection too. It feels like it never stops.
Does this resonate with you? Are you daydreaming about escaping to a secluded place just to enjoy a moment of solitude? Do you envision a cozy space filled with your favorite books and comfy slippers where you can think uninterrupted? No? Just me? Got it.
Honestly, the feeling of being “touched out,” especially during the early years when I had three kids in five years, was incredibly draining. This is a topic we need to discuss more openly. We frequently engage in conversations about breastfeeding versus formula feeding, vaginal births versus cesarean sections, and the debates between stay-at-home moms and working moms. Yet, who prepares us for the reality of having no personal space for years on end? The jokes about hiding in the pantry—while funny—reflect a very real struggle for many of us, as we yearn for just a moment alone. Being “touched out” can also take a toll on our relationships.
This feeling is valid and shared by many, but it’s time to shed light on it. We need to explore ways to carve out some alone time so that when the baby needs to be fed, the toddler craves cuddles, and your partner desires physical contact, you’ve had a chance to recharge. Because when you’re touched out, you have little left to give.
The ongoing challenges of parenting during a pandemic have intensified these feelings. Being unable to leave the house for social interactions or to seek help from family has left many of us feeling even more overwhelmed.
I’m a mother who craves space—I find myself irritated when touched or cuddled. I never realized this about myself until I became a parent. One day, I might miss my child wanting to snuggle, but for now, I just want to enjoy dinner with my partner without interruptions.
Many moms are echoing similar sentiments: feeling overwhelmed and needing a reprieve from constant demands. It’s essential to recognize that this is a common experience. We need to openly communicate our needs and find solutions that allow us to recharge.
If you’re feeling neglected or pushed away, partners should try to understand what their significant others are experiencing. Taking on household chores or encouraging a weekend getaway could be the best way to support them—not simply seeking physical affection.
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Summary:
The overwhelming sensation of being “touched out” is a prevalent experience for many parents, especially during the demanding baby and toddler years. This feeling is intensified by the pandemic, which has led to a lack of personal space and increased stress. It’s crucial to recognize the need for alone time and communicate these feelings to partners in order to foster understanding and support.
Keyphrase: touched out parenting
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