My Mother Is An Anti-Vaxxer, and … It’s Complicated

My mom is quite the character—an unconventional spirit who insists she’ll try ‘shrooms before she leaves this world. She’ll hit 94 next August. She’s a myriad of things: a voracious reader, a terrible cook, and a delightful instigator who often stirs the pot. When she sees Congress in action, she quips, “Where are all the women?!?” She’s sarcastic and headstrong but incredibly kind, always opening her home to her grandchildren’s friends who need a place to stay. She’s our family’s anchor, the standard we all aspire to.

Yet, she is also an anti-vaxxer.

This perplexes me. I consider myself progressive, but next to her, I feel more aligned with Jim Jordan than Bernie Sanders. Though she passionately supports universal healthcare and student loan forgiveness, insisting that the government keep its “damn hands” off women’s bodies, she is also a staunch opponent of vaccines. She ardently backs social justice causes, including BLM and the LGBTQIA+ community. I once heard her murmur regarding Kathy Griffin’s controversial stunt, “Well, somebody’s gotta do it.” And she’s 93!

Before vaccines were available, she would listen to my enthusiastic discussions about Dr. Fauci, even acknowledging his charm with a playful comment. We would chuckle at his exchanges with Rand Paul and his expressions when Trump spoke about the “deep state.” She even gifted me a Fauci tote bag for my collection.

However, once the vaccines were introduced, her attitude towards Fauci turned hostile. Though I knew she had reservations about vaccines—claiming she’d never had one—her skepticism toward government-sponsored vaccinations shouldn’t have surprised me given her long-standing distrust of authority.

What I struggle to understand is how she can view Clorox and hydroxychloroquine as ludicrous but sees Ivermectin as a miracle cure. During a visit last weekend, I made a snarky remark about horse dewormers, to which she retorted, “How stupid does someone have to be to get a Covid vaccine?” When I admitted I was vaccinated, she insisted I wear a mask—“or you’ll get me sick.”

Then came the barrage of videos and articles. I barely skimmed the titles about vaccines making people magnetic and containing microchips. A Canadian immunologist supposedly revealed that these vaccines create “toxins” that travel to the brain. Allegations of autism as a side effect and claims that vaccination alters DNA were rampant. I expressed that I’d prefer to risk the supposed “brain poison” rather than face a painful Covid death. She simply replied, “Well, I guess that’s your choice.”

When I presented her with statistics, her response was astonishing: “They’re just trying to divide us.” I didn’t even inquire about who she meant by “they,” recognizing that her response echoed the same “fake news” rhetoric we had critiqued since 2016.

Lately, my mother resembles a caricature of Marjorie Taylor Greene rather than the unapologetic free thinker she once was. This transformation is troubling for me.

Anti-vaxxers remind me of people who refuse to evacuate during a natural disaster. I’m not referring to those who cannot leave but rather the obstinate ones who declare, “I’ve faced worse, and I won’t be forced out.” To me, they don’t embody bravery but rather selfishness. Sometimes their resistance may seem inconsequential, but there are moments when emergency responders risk their lives to save these individuals—those who once refused to comply but now stand on crumbling roofs, waving for help. What about those who tried to evacuate but couldn’t? Should they be pushed to the back of the line?

When I read about anti-vaxxers regretting their choices, I feel compassion, yet my instinctive reaction is often: “You are occupying someone else’s hospital bed. You’re taking a ventilator from someone in need. You are endangering the lives of doctors and nurses—and you never considered them, did you? And now you think you can have a do-over?”

But how do I reconcile these feelings with having an unvaccinated mother—a respected figure who is spreading anti-vaccine sentiment and influencing at least nine other family members? I dread the thought of her contracting Covid, especially since she refers to her home as a “mask-free” zone. I can’t allow my harsh feelings to include her, but she is still complicit.

I want to echo her words: “Well, I guess that’s your choice.” But in this moment, when our nation has already lost over 600,000 lives and is now putting our children at risk, it’s no longer about individual choices. It’s about collective action to stop this pandemic and its devastating effects. Yet, I don’t believe she will change. I never viewed my mom in this light before, but now, I wish she would think beyond herself.

This article was originally published on Sep. 27, 2021.

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Summary:

This article explores the complexities of having an anti-vaccine mother who, despite being a kind and loving matriarch, holds firmly to her beliefs about vaccines. The writer grapples with feelings of frustration and concern for her mother’s choices, while reflecting on the broader implications of vaccine hesitancy during a pandemic.

Keyphrase: Mother’s Anti-Vaccine Beliefs

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