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When my peers grumble about texting, I often hear, “Blah-blah blah.” They argue that it’s hard to interpret tone, that it can lead to misunderstandings, and that it feels too transactional. For me, the transactional nature of texting is exactly what makes it so appealing.
If I need to check with another mom about carpooling, I can do so in just a few words: “Can you do pick-up?” In the past, making a phone call meant engaging in at least 300 words of small talk before getting to the point. While some may enjoy that, I much prefer the quick efficiency of texting. Recently, I’ve discovered another reason to love it: it keeps me connected to my college freshman, who has recently flown the coop.
I’ve always had a strong dislike for phone conversations. I find that people often misuse it to ramble on about trivial matters. Additionally, I have a wandering mind, which can make for awkward, no-visual-cues conversations. When I should be expressing sympathy, I often find myself distracted by mundane tasks.
However, I’ll gladly take a call from my distracted 18-year-old son. I struggle to focus while we talk, especially when he’s skateboarding and I can hear the wheels rolling over pavement cracks. He often complains that I only catch 30% of what he says, but the truth is I barely grasp 18% of it. Still, I cherish hearing his voice and laughter, even if I can’t always understand his words.
What really helps me cope with his absence are our text conversations. Admittedly, many of them involve requests for money or a ride, echoing our past exchanges. Yet, every now and then, he surprises me by ending a text with a single heart emoji. This gesture means a lot, especially since I haven’t heard him say “I love you” since he was in elementary school.
While I never expected more than a thumbs-up or a quirky emoji, he chooses the big red heart, which requires him to navigate a different keyboard. It’s screen-shot-able for when I need to prove it exists!
Still, those heart emojis are rare. Most of our chats are brief, reminiscent of our hurried kitchen exchanges before school. These quick, informal conversations are a comfort that phone calls simply can’t replicate. I suspect my historical aversion to phone calls and my inability to follow my son’s stream of consciousness play a role here. We both share a preference for texting over voice calls; I’ve even offered him money to answer the phone, but he won’t budge.
While many criticize texting for its limitations, I celebrate what it offers. If I can maintain a small but consistent connection with my child who’s finally experiencing life on his own terms? I’ll happily take it.
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In summary, texting has redefined the way I communicate with my college-aged child, providing a quick and meaningful connection that phone calls often lack. As we both navigate our preferences for communication, I find solace in the simplicity and immediacy of our text exchanges.
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