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The “terrible twos” phase was a completely new experience for me. My first child bypassed that stage entirely, only dabbling in a bit of attitude during the “three-nager” phase. But when my son hit two, everything changed.
My once timid baby transformed into a whirlwind of energy, running, climbing, and screaming at the top of his lungs while mastering the art of saying NO. Suddenly, I found myself wrestling an alligator during diaper changes and negotiating with a tiny human over seemingly everything. Thus began the dreaded “terrible twos” that I had read about and feared.
I dove into research, frantically searching queries like “Is a two-nager a thing?” and “Is my child normal for being happy one moment and furious the next?” If you could peek at my search history from that time, you’d easily need hours to scroll through it all. But after all that research, I came to a crucial realization: I needed to stop being embarrassed about my son’s high energy and tantrums, and here’s why.
The high energy, defiance, and intensity of tantrums are completely typical behaviors for children at this age. This stage in their development is confusing for both them and us as parents; it doesn’t reflect our parenting skills. Kids are learning to navigate their emotions, and their listening abilities will develop over time, but that requires patience.
Armed with this knowledge and some strategies to help my son cope, I grew more comfortable with the fact that his outbursts in grocery stores or tantrums in Target were just part of being two. It was easy to feel embarrassed, but I came to understand that my child was simply acting age-appropriately.
As parents, we often find ourselves apologizing for our children’s behavior and feeling guilty about how they may act. I know I did. We often feel judged and worry that we’re not doing enough. However, these behaviors are a normal part of toddler development. Anyone who has raised a two-year-old can relate.
I’m not advocating for poor behavior, as many factors influence a child’s actions at this age. But it’s essential to recognize that my child isn’t intentionally trying to upset me. These initial years serve as crucial lessons in emotional regulation, and my son is still learning how to handle his feelings.
It can be disheartening to read comments suggesting that parents have somehow failed if their toddlers don’t behave perfectly. Society seems to forget that children are still learning how to manage their emotions and that many adults struggle with this as well. If parenting were that simple, we wouldn’t have all the challenges that come with it.
Next time you observe a parent dealing with a tantruming two-year-old, remember to offer support instead of judgment. A simple smile or some encouraging words like “You’re doing great!” can make a world of difference. The behavior of a child is not a reflection of their parenting.
Let’s stop apologizing for our children who are simply acting their age. We cannot expect them to manage their emotions perfectly when many adults struggle with this too. The pressure we place on both parents and children only complicates the already challenging journey of raising kids. Instead, let’s foster a supportive environment for one another during this phase.
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Summary
The “terrible twos” can be a daunting phase for parents, especially when dealing with tantrums and defiance. Understanding that these behaviors are normal and part of child development can help alleviate feelings of embarrassment or shame. Instead of apologizing for our children’s actions, we should focus on supporting one another and recognizing that navigating emotions is a learning process for both kids and parents.
Keyphrase: toddler tantrums
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