You’ve Left Your Toxic Job — Here’s How to Recover

It’s been several months since I walked away from a job that shattered my self-esteem and left me questioning every decision I’ve ever made. Strangely enough, I was only there for about a year, yet the impact was profound and far-reaching.

Looking back, I should have had reservations even before I accepted the position. My mom asked, “How is this an improvement over what you’re currently doing?” During the interview, my flaws felt magnified, making me defensive and inadequate even before I started. I craved validation in my career, so I crafted justifications for why this role was right for me.

Initially, I experienced that exciting “new job” phase, which quickly dissipated. As months passed, I felt increasingly gaslit by management, who touted the company “culture” while simultaneously engaging in behaviors that contradicted it. Less experienced individuals were often hired and promoted, while my expertise went unnoticed. Support from management was absent, leading to a steady decline in team morale.

To clarify, there was no overt harassment or abuse. Yet, I felt my self-worth erode. Despite being a strong woman with advanced degrees and extensive experience in the industry, I had never felt as demoralized as I did in that position. Months after leaving, I still feel shaken and uncertain.

Before this experience, I would have thought toxic workplaces were characterized by class-action lawsuits or overt discrimination. But sometimes, it only takes one narcissistic boss to create a toxic atmosphere. A manager who miscommunicates with their team or a micromanager who second-guesses your every move can lead to a damaging work environment.

“It’s not just a typical Monday morning dread,” says psychologist Lisa Farrow. “It’s the sheer anxiety you feel at the thought of going into work.” This dread can stem from various sources within the workplace: high employee turnover, gossip, undermining behaviors, or poor communication.

For me, the ultimate sign was my significant decline in emotional and mental health. My intuition screamed, “I need to escape.” As noted on Career Contessa, “Just like spoiled food alerts your stomach, your gut instinct about a toxic workplace is often correct.”

While leaving a toxic job can alleviate immediate distress, many of us need weeks or even months to heal. The wounds inflicted by such an environment can impact our self-esteem and confidence. So how can you regain your footing?

1. Recognize Your Strengths

Jot down your skills, both professional and personal. If this feels daunting, ask a friend to share what they appreciate about you or what they think you excel at. Reflect on past positive experiences and compile a list that you can refer to often.

2. Be Deliberate with Old Connections

Consider unfollowing your former boss on LinkedIn or snoozing posts from ex-colleagues for a few months. It’s unnecessary to sever ties, but be intentional about managing your connections to your previous job.

3. Share Your Experience

If therapy isn’t an option, confide in a friend who may have faced similar challenges. Seek out resources, such as books on career transitions or recovering from workplace toxicity. For me, discussing my experience has helped normalize my feelings and rebuild my self-esteem.

4. Take Time to Reset

This could mean taking a break before starting a new job or diving into a new position while incorporating daily meditation or longer lunch breaks. You might even need a few days of complete disconnect from social media, as suggested by Claire Hanrahan.

5. Engage in Activities You Excel At

Refer back to your strengths list in #1. These activities don’t need to be work-related. If you’re skilled at crafting, create items for family and friends. Focus on things that boost your confidence.

6. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Acknowledge that your self-perception may be skewed right now, and resist the urge to believe the negative thoughts surrounding your worth and abilities. Surround yourself with uplifting people and experiences until you regain your footing.

I know this process is easier said than done; I’m living it myself. But have faith that things will improve, and you will feel whole again.

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In summary, leaving a toxic job can be a vital step toward reclaiming your well-being, but the road to recovery may require time and effort. Focus on your strengths, seek support, and engage in activities that build your confidence. Remember, healing is a journey, and you are not alone in this.

Keyphrase: Recovering from a Toxic Job

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