The Moment I Realized My Son Was Prepared for College

During the pandemic, my husband, Mark, who is my children’s stepdad, and I decided to purchase an RV, eagerly awaiting the right moment to embark on an adventure. With four kids from my previous marriage and two from Mark’s, we had created our own version of the “Brady Bunch,” minus the housekeeper, for the past decade. While we cherished the lively atmosphere of our home filled with children, pets, and delightful chaos, we also looked forward to the tranquility of an empty nest.

My youngest son, an automotive enthusiast and self-taught mechanic, aspired to be an engineer and chose to attend college in Michigan, quite a distance from our home in Washington State. Mark and I thought it would be a great idea to inaugurate the RV with a leisurely road trip to drop him off. With cautious excitement, my son agreed to our plan. I had always anticipated his agreeable nature, a trait he had displayed since he was little.

Unlike many universities that start their academic year in the fall, my son was set to begin as a freshman in the summer session. He could bring his vehicle without the usual one-year wait, so we arranged for him to follow us in his car while Mark and I took turns driving the RV. It was a solid plan—until his car’s air conditioner broke down in the sweltering 109-degree heat somewhere in Montana. Confident in his skills, we watched him crawl under the vehicle to assess the problem.

After 45 minutes, he emerged looking defeated, realizing the repairs were beyond his capability, especially in an unfamiliar campground. Seeing him covered in dirt and sweat, I instinctively suggested that he take a shower before entering the RV. To my surprise, he responded with irritation, saying “No.” Mark and I exchanged glances, as he quietly respected my parenting approach, which often differed from his own.

In a moment of frustration, I insisted, “Shower, or else.” I should have known better. My experience as a family lawyer has taught me that engaging in a battle of wills rarely results in a win for either side. This became evident when I asked Mark to intervene the next morning after my son stubbornly refused to shower. My son didn’t explain his behavior to Mark, instead returning to comply with our request. Shower accomplished—problem solved? Not quite.

Back on the road, my son’s demeanor changed; he seemed upset rather than excited as we arrived at Yellowstone National Park. Concerned, I asked him what was wrong. “Mom,” he said, “I really want to turn back and drive home.” I was shocked. In the weeks leading up to our trip, he had been thrilled about starting this new chapter.

Panic began to set in, which often leads me to nag more. I remembered our previous day’s confrontation about the shower, recognizing that he was no longer a child but an adult, a realization I struggled with. “You want to go home? But why?” I asked, trying to keep my tone steady.

In a mature manner, he explained, “I know you and Mark planned this trip, but I’m really anxious about not having the air conditioner fixed before school starts. I think it would be better if I just drove home and flew to Michigan.” I was taken aback; what I viewed as a minor inconvenience was causing him significant stress. As we talked, he opened up about his nerves regarding college and the added pressure of unexpected repairs in a strange location, which he found overwhelming.

Listening intently, I recognized that if faced with similar challenges alone, he would manage just fine. It wasn’t just his car knowledge but his ability to identify his feelings, calm himself, and communicate effectively that impressed me. I felt a sense of tranquility I hadn’t felt in months. Instead of imposing my plan, I asked him what he wanted to do.

He suggested we shorten the trip by limiting our stops to reach Michigan sooner, allowing him time to fix his car before classes began. It made sense to me, and after some discussion, we agreed on our next stops. He seemed relieved and his spirits lifted, as did Mark’s and mine.

Upon arriving in Michigan, we found a local mechanic to take care of the repairs. I knew my son, with his technical skills, would eventually repay us, perhaps by launching us to Mars in a rocket he designed. We settled him into his dorm room after unpacking, and then we returned to retrieve his car.

Before long, it was time for farewells. We hugged and drove off in our separate directions, comforted by the fact that we had made the journey together.

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In summary, the journey to drop my son off at college turned into a profound experience that highlighted his maturity and readiness for the challenges ahead. Through open communication and understanding, we navigated a potential crisis, ultimately reinforcing my belief that he was indeed prepared for this next chapter of his life.

Keyphrase: “my son ready for college”

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