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Growing up in a household with three siblings, I’ve always considered myself quite generous. Sharing a room and often belongings was the norm; my mother rarely brought home items that were exclusively ours. Many Christmases featured a single large gift intended for all of us. I accepted this setup, but one of my sisters took a different approach, labeling her possessions with her name to keep them distinctly hers. Clearly, sharing affects everyone differently.
Now, as a mother of three, I find that there’s little that truly feels like mine—be it my bedroom, my food, or even my personal time in the bathroom. However, as my children grow older and become more independent, I’ve established some personal boundaries that I refuse to compromise on, especially with my partner.
It’s important to clarify that not sharing certain aspects of your life doesn’t equate to being selfish or controlling. For instance, I once knew someone who wouldn’t allow her partner to borrow her clothes or even his moisturizer. That’s just inconsiderate.
1. Bathroom Time
In my previous marriage, I was more flexible in this regard, but I’ve since claimed my bathroom time as a non-negotiable sanctuary. I won’t have my partner coming in to brush his teeth while I’m taking care of my business. If it’s an emergency and there’s no alternative, I’ll step out, but otherwise, my time alone in there is sacred.
2. My Fries
If I order fries with my meal, and my partner insists he doesn’t want any but ultimately takes half of mine, that’s a no-go. Fries are my comfort food, and I need to indulge in them fully. Even if the menu suggests “Big Enough to Share,” I don’t trust it—if you want fries, order your own! The same applies to desserts like cake or ice cream; I’d rather buy it for you than share my portion.
3. My Pillow
I value my personal space when I sleep. I enjoy a quick cuddle but then need my own pillow and space to breathe. If you so much as put your head on my pillow, it’s going to make me anxious.
4. My Bank Account
After experiencing a joint account with my ex, I’ve learned the importance of maintaining my own finances. I’m open to creating a joint account for shared expenses, but my personal account is off-limits for scrutiny. Everyone has different spending priorities, and I don’t want to be judged for my choices—like my love for Botox or my daily Diet Coke habit.
Apart from these four things, I’m more than willing to share almost anything else. I’m not bothered by sharing a toothbrush or even a loofah, but when it comes to personal moments, I prefer to keep some things private. It helps maintain a sense of individuality in the relationship.
In conclusion, I consider myself a generous sharer, but I draw the line at my fries. If you dare to reach for them, you might just find yourself in a sticky situation.
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Summary:
This article discusses personal boundaries regarding sharing with a partner, emphasizing four key areas: bathroom time, food preferences, sleep space, and financial autonomy. The author asserts that these boundaries contribute to maintaining individuality and comfort within a relationship.
Keyphrase: Personal boundaries in relationships
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