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Having a teenager and a pre-teen means our conversations often go like this:
Me: How was school?
Kid: Fine.
Me: How did your test go?
Kid: Fine.
Me: How was baseball practice?
Kid: Fine.
Me: Want pizza for dinner?
Kid: Fine.
Everything seems to be fine, but that’s not quite the case. Little details about their math test emerge while they’re brushing their teeth at night. You’ll hear the latest gossip about crushes and what someone said in history class during a car ride to the dentist. And you’ll discover after you’ve ordered pizza that they were actually craving tacos.
It’s not that tweens and teens have stopped communicating; they just prefer to do so on their terms, in their own way, and at their own pace. Meanwhile, they can come off as distant or dismissive, often resorting to eye rolls and the infamous “fine.”
So, what can parents do? Unfortunately, a lot of it involves patience and letting them come to you in their own time. Here are some tips for managing those “fine” moments:
1. Don’t Respond to Eye Rolls with More Eye Rolls.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of passive-aggressive retorts, especially when your child brushes off your requests. But experts say this only escalates the situation and may push your teen further away.
2. Acknowledge Their Feelings.
One of my kids consistently struggles with Mondays. Rather than dismissing their complaints as typical, I’ve been making an effort to validate their emotions.
3. Engage in Activities Together.
Instead of forcing conversation, try doing something together—like attending a baseball game or going for coffee. Sometimes, kids open up when they’re engaged in activities they enjoy.
4. Choose Your Battles Wisely.
If constant reminders about cleaning their room lead to withdrawal, consider letting it slide. Sometimes, letting natural consequences unfold can be more effective than nagging.
5. Try the ‘Botox Brow’.
This term, coined by a parenting expert, suggests responding to irksome behavior with a neutral expression. It can be challenging if you’re naturally expressive, but it might help maintain calm.
6. Practice Patience.
Instead of probing for details, let their “fine” linger in the air. Stay present and available, but allow them the space to decide when to share more.
7. Be Ready to Listen.
When they do choose to talk—no matter the timing—make a genuine effort to listen without jumping in with advice. Just being there to listen is crucial.
Ultimately, the “fines” are a normal part of growing up. Your connection with your teen or tween is evolving, not breaking. They’re navigating their own changes, and so is your relationship with them.
For more insights on parenting, you might find our other blog post helpful here. For expert information on home insemination, you can check out this resource. Additionally, the NHS offers great information on intrauterine insemination.
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In summary, while it can be frustrating when your teen resorts to “fine,” remember that this phase is part of their development. Use patience and understanding, engage in shared activities, and stay available to listen when they do choose to open up.
Keyphrase: Teen communication strategies
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