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I recently celebrated my thirtieth wedding anniversary. It quietly slipped by without any fanfare—no Rocky theme music, just an ordinary Tuesday with a bottle of wine, some seafood, and a few cute photos shared on social media. To be honest, reaching this milestone didn’t feel like a monumental achievement. I have friends and family who are still navigating their marriages, and I know some my age who are newlyweds, as well as one who has finally found her Mr. Right with husband number three. They’re still in that starry-eyed phase, and I tend to avoid them because it reminds me of every little misstep my spouse and I have had. While they have a lot to learn, I didn’t find turning 30 years of marriage particularly symbolic. Honestly, if I had to choose between staying married or diving into the world of online dating… shudders.
I don’t have any profound insights or magical tips to offer (if I gave a Master Class on marriage, it would probably resemble a stand-up comedy routine). But after all these years, I’ve gained some experience in coexisting with quirks—both mine and his.
Sure, we’ve come a long way, but it isn’t because I chose the perfect partner. It’s more that I found someone who tolerates me quite well.
I’m easy-going… until I’m not. I can be sensible… except when it comes to shoes. I’m reasonably intelligent… until you quiz me on history, geography, or science. I can be a blast… until you mention Tito’s vodka. And let’s not even get started on my love for high heels, hot wings, beer, and karaoke.
As for him? Sigh. He’s a bit eccentric (he insists on closing every blind in the house when he showers, convinced that neighbors are spying on him), part rebel (he refuses to get up in the middle of the night to finish his colonoscopy prep), and sometimes just plain annoying (everyone loves him, which is irritating). He’s aging right before my eyes, while I fight against time with collagen powder and other remedies. Want the extended weather forecast before you’ve had your morning coffee? He’s your guy.
His weekend routine? Watching rock documentaries at the crack of dawn and then sharing the details with me all day long—thanks, Stevie Nicks, for being a part of our lives.
And then there are the classic husband behaviors that I’m convinced should be in the Husband Oath:
- Choosing movies no one else cares about, only to fall asleep during them and ask for a recap.
- Seizing control of the remote, selecting a show, and then scrolling through his phone.
- Taking longer to warm up the shower than it takes for him to actually shower.
- And the worst of all: losing weight effortlessly whenever he feels he’s gained a few.
Seriously, how does he still have a partner?
But let’s be real, it’s not all bad. For one, he’s a fantastic dad (even if he lost some authority after a family argument where he declared, “This ain’t no gangsta family!”). It was a funny moment that eased the tension, albeit it took a while for our kids to stop laughing. He’s slowly regaining their respect—he’s run a couple of marathons and even figured out how to use Venmo.
He’s a keeper. He understands me and still warns me to be careful whenever he sees me on a stepstool. He continues to buy me tiny, lacy underwear online, convinced that I haven’t aged since 1991.
Most days, we feel like a walking marriage meme (“If you enjoy getting annoyed by how someone loads the dishwasher, marriage could be for you!”). While long-term couples often become overweight, gray, irritable, and less appealing over the years, we’ve discovered that the key is to stagger those changes.
Our marriage has faced its share of challenges, but like childbirth, those moments fade into a distant memory once you’ve made it through. Deep down, we genuinely like each other. And (jazz hands aside), we make each other laugh.
Speaking of those jazz hands, I’m not spilling any tea here—he dances in public with them. Think of an overly cheerful guy with arms raised, encouraging everyone to join in, like a dancing billboard for a resort. In our love language, that signals it’s my turn to be the designated driver. See? We complement each other well.
So, James, will you accept this rose? It’s time to celebrate. How about we get romantic and watch our three-hour wedding video to see if we can recognize anyone?
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Summary
This piece reflects on a couple’s journey through thirty years of marriage, highlighting the quirks and challenges they’ve faced together. While the author humorously shares the imperfections of her partner and their relationship, she emphasizes the deep connection and shared laughter they maintain. The couple has navigated the ups and downs of married life with resilience and humor, showcasing that love often thrives amidst chaos.
Keyphrase: marriage reflections
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