The Pandemic Has Dispelled the Self-Care Myth

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Updated: Sep. 12, 2021

If you struggled to find time for self-care before the pandemic, the situation now seems even more challenging.

Those days of relying on family to help care for a sick child during a work crisis are long gone. Many small businesses have closed due to staffing shortages, while others demand longer hours from employees who are already stretched thin. Family health issues are left unattended, healthcare professionals are burnt out, and hospitals are overwhelmed.

In the midst of this chaos, we often hear the same advice: “Don’t forget to prioritize yourself! Your mental health is important!” It’s as if we weren’t already aware of this fact, as though time is limitless and the pandemic is a distant memory.

We’re caught in a relentless cycle of trying to catch up, with obstacles that COVID has thrown our way. What once felt like minor inconveniences now loom large. A child falling ill can no longer be treated as a quick hiccup; it’s now a long-term concern. We worry more than ever about our children’s health as they return to school, with the specter of COVID exposure hanging ominously over us. Many families are exhausted, barely managing to fulfill the essential tasks of daily life, let alone finding moments for what we’ve come to call “self-care.”

We all understand the importance of making time for ourselves. We know we deserve care and kindness. Yet, perhaps the most effective approach is to rethink the concept of self-care altogether. What is feasible for one person may be completely unattainable for another, setting unrealistic expectations that can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy.

The term “self-care” originally emerged from the medical community in the 1950s to help institutionalized patients maintain dignity through basic tasks like grooming. Its modern interpretation, which took off around 2015, often suggests indulgent escapes or social outings. However, the pandemic has stripped this notion of its glamour, urging us to find comfort in simpler, quieter moments—like savoring a cup of tea on the porch during a rainstorm. Yet, the harsh truth remains: many of us cannot afford the luxury of self-care when we are stuck in the very circumstances that drained us to begin with.

It’s not just about the financial aspect; while most can afford a tea bag or a brief moment to breathe, some lack vital resources and support systems. Dr. Mia Roberts, a psychiatrist and contributor to The Wellness Journal, noted that self-care has become a catch-all term, shifting the responsibility for mental well-being onto individuals rather than addressing systemic issues.

While I don’t want to diminish the value of self-care practices that might work for some, it’s important to acknowledge that for many, these practices can feel like burdens—more tasks to check off on an ever-growing list. Daily expectations can be overwhelming, leading us to wake up with goals that remain unmet by day’s end. The cycle continues until we feel completely overwhelmed.

Even when we manage to carve out time for ourselves, it often feels insufficient. We must recognize that self-care isn’t a panacea. What many of us truly seek is inner peace, which eludes us amid the chaos of a pandemic. Peace is not achieved through a checklist; it’s an inherent state of being—a choice rather than a reward. Finding peace during turbulent times is tough, but perhaps the best form of care we can offer ourselves right now is simply to acknowledge our efforts.

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In summary, the pandemic has reshaped our understanding of self-care, revealing that it is often a privilege not accessible to everyone. While the idea of taking time for oneself is important, we must also recognize that many face obstacles that make such practices difficult or even feel burdensome. Acknowledging our limits and seeking peace in small, manageable ways may be the best form of self-care we can offer ourselves during these unprecedented times.

Keyphrase: self-care during the pandemic

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