Is Body Positivity Right for Me? - modernfamilyblog.com

About a year after starting my recovery journey, I found myself in a body that was teetering on the edge of plus size. In a few clothing brands, I could still fit into a 16, but most often I found myself in an 18. I was able to wear large or extra-large sizes but shopping became a challenge. I had to rummage through countless racks to find something stylish in my size. Trying on clothes was a necessity, whether I liked it or not, to see how they fit my newly shaped body. While I could still enter most stores and find clothes, the experience was nothing like what I had known before.

Adjusting to life in a larger body was a process I had to go through again. During high school, I had experienced life in a body similar to the one I was now inhabiting post-recovery, and I had faced the emotional turmoil that often accompanies being larger than most. One of the reasons I had fought to be thin was to escape that trauma. However, the cost of fitting society’s expectations by remaining small was too steep. I realized that I had no choice but to embrace this plus-sized body and learn how to live in it.

But I was at a loss for how to do that. My therapist suggested that I seek acceptance from within, but the voices of my eating disorder were too overpowering. Whenever I attempted to look inward, I was met with harsh messages telling me to despise my body.

In search of guidance, I sought out external mentors—individuals in recovery who could help me embrace my new body. I began tuning into recovery podcasts like Recovery Warriors and Food Psych, and I explored the literature recommended by their guests, such as Life Without ED. Hearing these women share their stories of recovery was enlightening. They helped me realize that recovery was possible and that I could find freedom from my eating disorder. Yet, their experiences didn’t completely resonate with mine.

All of these women had either thin or “normal” bodies. They had recovered into socially acceptable sizes, while I had not. They didn’t address what it was like to be in recovery as a plus-sized individual, nor did they discuss the discrimination and bullying that often accompanies being in a fat body.

It’s worth mentioning that this was over five years ago, and since then, many of these women have done commendable work in uplifting fat voices and advocating for fat liberation.

I recognized the need to connect with those whose experiences mirrored my own, so I turned to the Internet to find answers and stumbled upon the Body Positivity movement. I found women who looked like me, confidently posting nude photos without shame, flaunting crop tops and bikinis, and genuinely celebrating their bodies.

I immersed myself in the body positive community—following influencers on social media, reading their blogs, and listening to their podcasts. For the first time, I felt a sense of belonging and safety.

As I delved deeper, I found the fat positive community, which included individuals who were not merely plus-sized but truly fat. These were people who didn’t fit into traditional plus-size clothing and whose bodies drew public scrutiny and harassment.

The conversations in this community were starkly different. They shared experiences of struggling to fit in airplane seats or restaurant booths, facing systemic discrimination in healthcare, and the economic disparities associated with body size. They repeatedly voiced that body positivity wasn’t enough to create real change for fat people and criticized those in smaller fat bodies, like mine, for diluting the movement with superficial messages about self-love and fashion.

Initially, I felt defensive. They seemed to be dismissing my struggles; I thought, “Don’t I deserve to love my body? Don’t I deserve stylish clothes that fit?” At that moment, I failed to grasp that they were not invalidating my experience but rather highlighting the severity of discrimination that escalates the further one’s body deviates from societal norms.

To be honest, I was intimidated by their fat bodies, fearing that I might end up like them. I held onto the belief that being fat was acceptable as long as it wasn’t “too fat.” I now understand that this was rooted in fatphobia. Today, I recognize that all bodies deserve dignity and equal treatment, a lesson I learned from the fat positive community during my own journey into a larger body.

While I wish I could say I would have embraced fat activism regardless of my body size, I avoided the fat positive community for years to cling to the privilege of being on the “acceptable” end of the fat spectrum. However, as my body grew, I sought out the fat positive community for the same reason I turned to body positivity: to learn from those with similar experiences.

As I engaged with fat activists and navigated life in a genuinely fat body, I began to understand the limitations of the body positive community. While improving body image is vital, it pales in comparison to the fight for fundamental human rights that fat individuals face daily. Self-love is essential, but it does not resolve the systemic discrimination directed at fat people. Inclusive fashion is important, yet it often neglects the most marginalized bodies and fails to address socioeconomic disparities.

Even as I discovered a stronger alignment with fat positivity, I clung to body positivity—it was my introduction to the conversation surrounding body politics. But ultimately, body positivity isn’t designed for those of us living in larger bodies. It may help some, but it doesn’t tackle the critical issues facing fat people.

None of this is a revelation; it has been imparted to me by individuals like Maya Carter, Jordan Sampson, and Alex Torres, among others. I owe a debt of gratitude to my mentors in the fat positive, body liberation, and body justice movements for teaching me these lessons. While I can share my journey, the insights I’ve gained belong to them.

There’s still much for me to learn, and my advocacy has only just begun.

For more information on home insemination techniques, check out this article as well as this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.

Search Queries:

Summary:

This article explores the author’s journey through body positivity and fat acceptance. Initially seeking validation within the body positive community, the author discovers the limitations of this movement, particularly regarding the experiences of fat individuals. Through engagement with fat activists, the author learns vital lessons about body dignity, systemic discrimination, and the importance of embracing one’s body, regardless of societal standards.

Keyphrase: body positivity and fat acceptance
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]