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I’ll always remember that pivotal conversation. As I reflect, it plays out in my mind vividly. I was in a store, browsing workout apparel, when I updated my friend about my recent consultation with my plastic surgeon. After my mastectomy, I was presented with two choices: I could opt for expanders, eventually replaced by breast implants, or go directly for implants. I found myself at a crossroads.
My friend, who happens to be a registered nurse, asked if I had thought about the possibility of forgoing implants altogether. I was taken aback. At just thirty-five, the idea of transitioning from a natural C-cup to being flat was hard to digest. She shared her findings about a significant number of women discussing their negative experiences with breast implants online. She suggested I thoroughly research the potential risks before making a decision.
In the aftermath of my stage 0 breast cancer diagnosis, I was enveloped in confusion and despair. Just weeks before, I had been living a normal life, free from any family history of breast cancer, maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It felt surreal and unjust, as though the ground had shifted beneath me.
The events that followed were a blur. I was assigned a renowned breast surgeon in St. Louis. After an MRI that thankfully showed no additional cancer, I underwent genetic testing for BRCA1 and BRCA2. My doctor presented me with two options: a lumpectomy followed by radiation or a bilateral mastectomy. After careful consideration and prayer, I opted for the mastectomy.
When I met with the plastic surgeon, I was again faced with two choices. I could have tissue expanders placed during the mastectomy, which would be gradually filled over several months, or implants could be placed right away. When I called my friend to discuss what made more sense, she surprised me by suggesting I didn’t have to get implants at all. I could choose to go flat and use prosthetics if I wished. I dismissed her suggestion almost immediately, convinced I was too young to embrace being flat. I thought that was something I could consider in my sixties or seventies, not at my current age.
A few weeks later, I chose the direct implant route. I entered the operating room with my own breasts and emerged with what we in the breast cancer community refer to as “foobs”—fake breasts. Upon waking up, I was hit with intense shoulder blade pain, likely from the position during the lengthy surgery. I received strong pain relief but soon began my long recovery journey.
The shoulder discomfort persisted, leading me through two rounds of physical therapy and countless chiropractic visits, alongside a hefty MRI bill. Despite my efforts, including increased yoga and weight training, the pain remained.
Years passed with more troubling symptoms surfacing. I began experiencing lower abdominal pain, which was later linked to severe constipation, despite my active lifestyle and healthy diet. My health declined further; I faced heart palpitations, dizziness, and unexpected food intolerances. My anxiety skyrocketed, resulting in panic attacks. I felt achy and fatigued, as if I were aging rapidly.
Though I had conquered breast cancer, my health issues made me feel as if I were in my eighties. I dealt with relentless exhaustion and debilitating brain fog, struggling to remember conversations or find the right words. I felt like a shadow of my former self, trapped in a cycle of unending fatigue.
I had never battled depression before, but during this time, I felt the weight of it pressing down on me. I consulted various doctors, underwent numerous tests, and faced endless cycles of frustration with no answers. I felt like I was losing my grip on reality.
Then one day, I joined a Facebook group dedicated to breast implant illness (BII). Almost immediately, I recognized my own struggles among the stories of other women who had experienced similar issues. I realized I was suffering from BII, and I decided it was time to remove my implants.
With that decision, I embraced the idea of going flat. The implants, no matter how well-placed they were, were not worth compromising my physical and mental health. I learned so much from the group, discovering that many women who chose to explant—removing their implants and scar tissue—saw remarkable improvement in their health. They were reclaiming their lives.
My surgery to remove the implants was delayed due to COVID-19, but I held onto hope. Five months later, I finally underwent the procedure. Like many women I had spoken with, I awoke feeling an immediate sense of relief.
Now, nearly six months post-surgery, I am grateful that twenty-five of my twenty-nine BII symptoms have subsided. While I strive to avoid regrets, I can’t help but wish I had chosen to go flat from the outset. Ignoring my friend’s advice feels like a lost opportunity that cost me over three years of my life. This regret fuels my determination to raise awareness about BII and the very real risks associated with breast implants. I want to prevent others from experiencing the same pain that I, along with countless others, endured.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the author’s journey through breast cancer treatment and the decision to get breast implants, which led to numerous health complications due to breast implant illness (BII). After years of physical and mental struggles, the author ultimately chose to remove the implants and embrace going flat, finding relief and a renewed sense of hope. The piece emphasizes the importance of being informed about the risks associated with breast implants and encourages others to consider alternatives.
Keyphrase: Breast implant illness awareness
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