“Mom, Can We Talk?” — The Unexpected Revelation from My Son

Every mother knows that when a child approaches with the words, “Mom, can we talk?” it often precedes a serious conversation. It’s a signal to prepare for something significant. So, when my son entered my room during a study break for his junior-year finals, I realized I needed to focus on what he was about to say.

“Mom, I have something important to share. For the last year, I’ve been struggling with severe depression. Recently, I’ve been speaking with Mr. Johnson at school—a teacher I truly admire—and he encouraged me to open up to you and Dad. He insisted that you both would listen and that you’re the only ones who can help me. I really need help.”

Honestly, I was taken aback. I might have anticipated him expressing concerns about his studies or the pressure of college applications, but this—his admission of depression—was completely unexpected.

I’ve seen what adult depression can look like: someone who cannot get out of bed, loses interest in things they once enjoyed, and feels persistently sad or angry. But my son didn’t fit this mold. I often heard him laughing uproariously at videos from across the hall. He was active with friends, sports, and theater, and seemed to greet each day with enthusiasm.

A flood of thoughts raced through my mind; I wanted to say, “You’re not depressed! I hear you laughing! You engage with us!” What I didn’t understand in that moment was that teenage depression can take on different forms—it can show as numbness, apathy, or an indescribable darkness, even when they appear outwardly fine.

I recognized the seriousness of the situation and how hard it must have been for him to bring this up. With my husband coaching a lacrosse game, it fell to me to navigate this challenging moment.

In the back of my mind, I recalled a tragedy involving a friend’s son—an all-American boy who, despite seeming happy and close to his family, ended his life while away at college. Their shock was profound, and hearing their story had left a lasting impact on me.

As my son spoke, it hit me that he might be feeling much different inside than I realized. I knew my response was crucial. I chose my words carefully, saying, “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but I’m grateful you shared it with me. Thank you for trusting me. I promise Dad and I will support you—you are not alone. Please, tell me more.”

What followed was an open conversation where he expressed his feelings and experiences. I thought I knew my son well, but I was blindsided by the depth of his struggles. That night, he articulated his feelings and asked for help, leading us to discuss potential options for support, including a therapist and a visit to his doctor for possible medication.

Over the coming months, we sought expert advice and I conducted extensive research. Every so often, I felt the urge to check in constantly, fearing I might miss signs of distress. However, I also wanted to give him space. Though he wasn’t suicidal, my friend’s experience loomed large in my mind.

Gradually, things began to improve. I shed many tears during this period—tears of sorrow for my son’s silent struggle, regret for not recognizing his pain sooner, and relief that he reached out for help. We were incredibly thankful to his teacher for guiding him to us, as they will always hold a place in our hearts.

At his college orientation, every freshman participated in the “Dear World” project, where they shared their stories. My son sent me a photo from the event, proudly displaying the words “I CAN FEEL THE DAYLIGHT” with “AGAIN” on his palm. It was a powerful testament to his journey and resilience.

When I saw the picture, I cried tears of gratitude and pride for his progress. He expressed his hope that sharing his story could aid others, and he was enthusiastic when I suggested writing about his experience to help other parents who might be unaware of their children’s struggles.

Through this experience, we’ve learned the importance of openly discussing mental health, sharing experiences, and remaining vigilant for signs of distress. It’s crucial to ask about feelings and reassure them of your support.

So, when your child says, “Mom, can we talk?” be ready to listen—always.

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Summary:

This article reflects on a mother’s unexpected conversation with her son about his struggle with depression. It emphasizes the importance of open communication regarding mental health, the need for understanding and support, and how critical it is to listen when a child reaches out for help. The narrative also explores the mother’s emotional journey, the steps taken to ensure her son’s well-being, and the power of sharing one’s story to inspire others.

Keyphrase: Teenage Depression and Parental Support

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