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As the school year approaches, I find myself grappling with intense emotions. In the past, I would eagerly anticipate the return of a quiet house, where I could work uninterrupted by requests for snacks or complaints of boredom. But this year is different—now, I’m filled with trepidation.
I often lie beside my son as he drifts off to sleep, running my fingers through his hair and cherishing the moments when he is safe at home. However, waves of dread and anxiety wash over me unexpectedly. Just the other day, while preparing a peanut butter sandwich, I was suddenly gripped by a chilling fear that left me breathless.
I understand that I may sound overly dramatic. The worst-case scenario this school year could be one of my children contracting COVID-19. Statistically, I know that even if they were to catch it, they would likely recover. I realize that sending them to school during a pandemic is not akin to sending them into battle. Yet, it feels that way.
To provide some context, I have two sons—one is a fully vaccinated teenager, and the other is a fourth grader who is too young to be vaccinated. Last year, we opted for remote learning, isolating ourselves completely. That year was challenging, and my boys’ mental health suffered. However, with all of us unvaccinated and the pandemic still raging, staying home felt like the safest choice.
When my husband, my teen, and I became fully vaccinated in June, and the COVID rates were low, I felt optimistic about sending my kids back to school. The vaccination rates in my area were encouraging, and I had been monitoring our school district’s effective COVID protocols, which had resulted in minimal in-school transmission.
At the start of summer, I was ready to send my kids back, including my unvaccinated son. They were excited to return to school after a year at home, and I was relieved they could do so safely. I acknowledged the small risk of sending my youngest, but with low COVID numbers and our district’s strong record, it seemed manageable.
However, my perspective shifted drastically once the Delta variant emerged. COVID cases surged in our community, affecting even vaccinated individuals. Reports of outbreaks at local camps surfaced, and alarming statistics revealed that children were becoming significant spreaders of the Delta variant. My social media feeds filled with distressing images of children hospitalized and suffering.
As a mother, the thought of my child facing such a fate is unbearable. It’s impossible not to envision my own boys in similar situations. And yet, here I am, preparing to send them to school.
I should be grateful that our school district is still prioritizing safety with measures like universal masking and proper ventilation. They appear to be doing everything “right” to minimize risk. But Delta’s increased contagion makes it hard to believe that any protocols will be foolproof.
Despite knowing that the likelihood of severe illness in children is low, I remain anxious. I’m planning to send my kids to school in just six days, even my unvaccinated son. My youngest has been isolated from peers for 18 months, and the impact on his mental health weighs heavily on me. While my rational side acknowledges the protective measures in place, my emotional side wrestles with anxiety.
I am filled with anger over our societal response to the pandemic. Yes, COVID-19 spreads, and yes, the Delta variant is especially contagious, but we possess tools—like vaccines and masks—that can mitigate the spread. Unfortunately, too many have abandoned these measures, leaving us vulnerable as we prepare to send our children back into schools, some for the first time since the pandemic began.
I’m not alone in my panic; many parents share my fears. It didn’t have to be this way. We could have put our children’s safety first. While no one wants another lockdown, we could have collectively adhered to safety protocols until all children were eligible for vaccination. But we didn’t, and now here we are—September has arrived, and parents are bracing for what lies ahead. It feels as though our children’s safety is not a priority.
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Summary:
As the school year begins, a mother reflects on the challenges and fears of sending her children back to school during the ongoing pandemic. Despite knowledge of safety protocols and low hospitalization rates among children, anxiety prevails due to the rise of the Delta variant and the societal response to COVID-19. The piece conveys a profound sense of dread, highlighting the emotional turmoil many parents experience as they navigate these uncertain times.
Keyphrase: School Anxiety during Pandemic
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