My Conservative Family Embraced My Transgender Daughter – Will Yours?

pregnant woman in pink dress sitting on bed

It’s a common refrain I’ve heard since the conclusion of Texas’s 87th legislative session, which witnessed an unprecedented wave of bills aimed at transgender children. My journey advocating for my daughter’s rights has intensified, especially in 2021. Although all thirteen anti-trans bills ultimately failed, the struggles for trans kids and their families persist.

Governor Abbott’s special session placed my nine-year-old’s well-being in jeopardy, with Senate Bill 29, which prevents transgender youth from participating in sports aligned with their gender identity, resurfacing. Amidst primary challengers questioning the governor’s conservatism, Abbott has also pledged to prohibit gender-affirming medical care to cater to far-right voters, disregarding established medical guidelines.

But my parents insist, “You’re okay now.” My mother’s dismissive tone fails to acknowledge the growing danger for my daughter and our family in Texas. My father, however, expresses concern: If we leave Texas, who will care for them?

My parents were not always supportive of our decision to affirm our child’s gender. As lifelong Republicans and conservative Christians, I was initially apprehensive about sharing my daughter’s identity with them. Yet, nothing drives a parent to action quite like the fear of losing a child. They don’t want their grandchild to revert to the anxious, withdrawn child she was before socially transitioning. They also fear she might become yet another statistic of bullying, self-harm, or worse.

“They won’t actually pass those bills,” my mother reassures me. “If they do, Biden will just overturn them.” But relying on federal intervention overlooks the responsibility Texans have to effect change within our own communities. It’s essential to shift the minds and votes of those who support or ignore these politicians allowing misinformation to flourish.

As a parent, it’s easy to fall into denial about the threats posed by misinformation. The idea of my child being excluded from essential school activities or denied life-saving gender-affirming medical care—supported by all major medical associations—can feel unbearable. However, if we refuse to acknowledge that anti-trans legislation could become a reality, it undoubtedly will in the future.

We don’t have to forsake our roots to prepare for what lies ahead. My parents have not renounced their political ideals or faith; they remain Republicans and Christians while also supporting the LGBTQ community. Their transformation in understanding transgender rights illustrates how meaningful relationships with transgender children can foster empathy and advocacy. They became some of my daughter’s most ardent supporters. Would they have reached out to their representatives during this legislative session if their grandchild weren’t trans? No chance. But witnessing the joy on a child’s face when addressed with the correct pronoun solidifies the belief that trans kids deserve equal treatment.

Some of the staunchest advocates for trans youth are independents and religious conservatives. Unlike those pushing anti-trans bills, these advocates genuinely listen to trans individuals and acknowledge that faith and the LGBTQ community can coexist.

Regardless of our political differences, our common goal is the welfare of children in Texas. Many families have embarked on similar journeys toward understanding and acceptance, and I believe parents from various backgrounds possess the ability to learn, grow, and protect the transgender children they love.

The fight against discriminatory legislation cannot rely solely on trans individuals and their families. We need cisgender allies and the LGBTQIA+ community to heed the voices of experts—trans youth, their parents, and medical professionals—and advocate for the well-being of trans children. Like all parents, we just want what’s best for our kids.

So, no. We are not okay. We hold onto hope, but we need your support.

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In summary, my conservative family’s unexpected journey of acceptance towards my transgender daughter illustrates the power of love and understanding in overcoming prejudice. It highlights the need for allies to advocate for the rights and well-being of trans children, emphasizing that collective efforts are crucial in the fight against discriminatory legislation.

Keyphrase: Support for Transgender Children

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