How Gardening Illuminated Gaps in My Self-Care

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In 2020, my partner and I excitedly embarked on our journey as novice gardeners. We purchased a petite raised garden bed measuring just two feet by eight feet and placed it on our deck, conveniently close to our back door. This was our inaugural attempt at cultivating our own food, and as the saying goes, “A pandemic often spurs creativity.”

Our initial gardening experience was a harsh lesson. We began our seedlings indoors, and when it was time to transfer them to larger trays, we set those trays in our garage beneath some flimsy grow lights we found online. The following morning, we rushed out to check on them, only to be met with a disheartening sight: every single seedling had been devoured. We had planted over a hundred seedlings, only to discover a family of voles had made their way into our garage, leaving no trace behind.

Despite this rocky start, our 2020 growing season yielded some success; we enjoyed fresh romaine lettuce and zucchini that summer, though our tomato plants succumbed to the first frost. With lessons learned, we set ambitious plans for 2021, aiming to create a cut flower garden. We carefully designed layouts for three new raised beds and even developed spreadsheets to manage our planting zones.

However, as I delved deeper into the intricate details of gardening, I quickly became overwhelmed by the complexities of nurturing living organisms. One of the first revelations was the critical importance of soil health; it directly influences a plant’s ability to thrive. Did you know that house plants require repotting every year? I followed this advice for the first time this season, and several of my plants are now flourishing, sprouting new leaves.

Additionally, I learned that the needs of plants vary widely; fertilizers come in different forms depending on the specific pH levels required by each species. I soon realized that my original garden plan needed revising because I had unknowingly paired flowers with completely opposite nutrient requirements.

The details kept piling up, and one evening, I felt frustration bubbling over at the amount of effort required for a single flower. In that moment, I asked myself, “What’s the alternative?” The answer was sobering: to simply abandon them, never to flourish. This was a wake-up call for my self-care.

It dawned on me that I often wish for a beautiful garden without investing the time and energy required for growth. My expectations were misaligned with the reality of nurturing a cut flower garden.

Gardening is a powerful metaphor for personal growth and self-nourishment. Reflecting on my past experiences in the corporate world, I recalled how creatives were often placed in uninspiring environments, expected to produce exceptional work without support. I remembered nurses who faced daily hostility yet were tasked with making critical decisions regarding patient care.

In gardening, neglect leads to clear consequences; plants either thrive or perish. I’ve often found myself in situations where I disengaged, expecting everything to turn out well. My father once worked for a company that showed little concern for his well-being while he navigated harsh working conditions. Imagine if a gardener treated their crops that way—they would simply wither away.

If the natural world demands care and attention for growth, why do we expect less for ourselves? As our 2021 growing season comes to a close, I realize that gardening is vastly underestimated, especially by those of us who have lived in cities. I was always aware that food came from farms, but I had no idea how much effort and knowledge goes into successful gardening.

It’s also apparent that I often expect things in my life to flourish without deep engagement. This realization is a reminder that everything is interconnected. When one plant suffers, it affects the health of the surrounding plants. Similarly, when we neglect our own well-being, those around us are impacted, directly or indirectly.

Imagine treating ourselves with the same care we afford to the flowers in our gardens. What if we started acting as if we genuinely belonged to one another? Perhaps that’s when we would truly begin to flourish.

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Summary

In this reflection, I explore how my journey into gardening shed light on gaps in my self-care routine. From the initial heartbreak of losing seedlings to understanding the complexities of nurturing plants, I realized that just as gardens require attention and care, so do our own lives. This experience has taught me about the interconnectedness of well-being and the importance of tending to our needs and those of others.

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