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Sharing stories with my children has always been a highlight of my day, fostering a deep sense of connection between us. We carve out quality time during car rides, dinner, or game nights, but there’s something uniquely comforting about curling up with a book together.
My twins are 8, and my oldest is 10. I’ve been reading to them since their infancy, and our home is filled with a variety of books—board books, picture books, chapter books, and graphic novels. I read to my twins at the same time, as their interests align, though they still have their own preferences, which adds a little negotiation to our nightly story selection. Meanwhile, my oldest daughter and I have journeyed through numerous book series together. Lately, however, they’ve begun to read independently some nights, which has shifted our routine.
While I cherish our nightly story time, I find myself missing those moments when they choose to read solo. I long for the shared laughter and conversations that come with reading together. Yet, I’m also proud of their growing independence. On those independent reading nights, I often delve into my own book. After a conversation with my eldest, I decided to join her by reading the same books she was exploring, sitting cozily beside her.
My 10-year-old was excited to start the Warriors series, a decision she made weeks after I suggested it. We had enjoyed several series together, including Animal Inn, Harry Potter, and Wings of Fire. But instead of embarking on the new Warriors series featuring clans of wild cats living by a warrior code, she opted to revisit certain Wings of Fire books every night.
When she finally expressed her readiness to dive into the Warriors, I was thrilled. But her response—“Oh. I’m reading them by myself”—was a bit of a letdown for me. Still, I was more excited about her willingness to try something new.
As she immersed herself in the first book, she couldn’t stop discussing it, growing frustrated that I wasn’t in the loop. “You can read it too!” she exclaimed, her sudden realization lighting up her face. Admittedly, I hesitated at the thought of dedicating time to read about feral cats. I wondered if I could fit it into my day.
Recognizing her desire for our shared story connection, I quickly downloaded the book and listened to it while doing chores and winding down at night. We eventually read the second book side by side—she with the hard copy, and I through my Libby app.
I noticed how much it meant to her that I engaged in her reading experience again. I’ve done this with my twins as well. Although titles like Diary of a Wimpy Kid aren’t my first choice, I’m willing to read them to keep the conversation about their favorite stories alive. While I still read to my kids most nights, incorporating this new routine helps maintain our nightly bonding sessions.
There will come a time when they may prefer a simple goodnight hug or feel embarrassed by their interests. I won’t impose myself too much, but while they still welcome my involvement, I’ll find ways to connect through books. I may not be snooping through their journals or personal notes, but I can’t promise I won’t keep tabs on their interests by skimming the books they read, even those assigned at school. I’m hopeful we’ll continue to enjoy conversations about the same stories. If I have to engage through literary espionage, so be it.
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In summary, reading remains a vital way for me to bond with my children, whether through shared story times or by engaging with their independent choices. Their growing autonomy is something I celebrate, and I will always seek ways to connect through literature.
Keyphrase: bonding with tween through reading
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