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Recently, I had dinner with friends who couldn’t stop talking about a show called “White Lotus.” They insisted it was a must-watch, followed by a recommendation for “Mare of Easttown.” Their enthusiasm was infectious, and I promised I would dive into those series.
However, when I returned home and settled in front of the TV, I instinctively turned to a show that my partner and I had watched from the beginning. It was a series that had played in the background during his illness, one he never got to finish. Since his passing, I have revisited it more times than I care to admit.
I hadn’t linked my tendency to re-watch this show (or the few others since his death) with my grief until a fellow widow in my support group shared that she, too, had started re-watching a sitcom. That was my moment of clarity – it wasn’t just laziness that led me to choose an old favorite; it was a yearning for nostalgia and comfort. In a world that feels unpredictable, especially as a solo parent navigating a pandemic, these shows serve as a time machine to a more familiar reality.
The Power of Nostalgia
Nostalgia, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “the state of being homesick.” I’ve come to understand that home goes beyond physical walls; it’s about the people who make you feel secure. For me, my husband was my home. His death left a void, but when I immerse myself in our favorite shows, I momentarily forget that loss.
Seeking Comfort
Experts like psychologist Pamela Rutledge have noted that revisiting familiar entertainment can affirm a sense of order in the world, creating a primal feeling of safety. Since losing my husband, grappling with chaos has been challenging, and for those twenty-two minutes of a sitcom, I can find solace in the predictable structure of the plot.
Embracing Predictability
Watching these shows repeatedly allows me to catch nuances I missed before, but by now, I know every twist and turn. In a year marked by uncertainty, the predictability of these narratives offers a reprieve from the weight of solo parenting and global challenges. It’s not always feasible to completely escape, but sometimes lowering the volume on life’s stressors, even temporarily, can make a significant difference.
A Journey into the Past
I’ve written about how grief has affected my ability to absorb new stories. While I still find it difficult to pick up a new book or show, returning to old favorites feels like reuniting with a close friend. I recognize that dwelling too much in the past can hinder my present, yet I’m also embracing new experiences in life, such as a new job and a new relationship. Revisiting these shows momentarily transports me back to a time I cherished, letting me reconnect with a version of myself I loved.
One day, I may venture into “White Lotus” or “Mare of Easttown.” But for now, amidst the challenges of solo parenting and a world filled with crises, I find comfort in the familiar – a small sense of home in the laughter of beloved characters. For more on this topic, check out another one of our posts here.
Summary
This article reflects on the comfort found in re-watching familiar TV shows, especially after loss. The author connects nostalgia and predictability to the emotional safety that comes with revisiting past favorites, providing a temporary escape from the unpredictability of life.
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