My Child Attended a Private School, and It Backfired on Us

pregnant woman in yellow flower dress holding her belly

I was aware from the start that we were stepping into something complicated. The endless meetings, events, galas, and auctions, all demanding sizable “donations” and formal attire, were signals I could not ignore. My work inbox was flooded with calendar invites for committees I never joined but had been added to because new “members” were expected to volunteer a set number of hours each school year. These commitments always clashed with my work hours, forcing me to either take PTO or work late into the night. This was just part of the deal, along with the exorbitant tuition, to become part of our new school community.

Yes, we chose this path. I never thought I’d have a child in a private school, but our oldest needed the specialized programs available, so we decided to invest in his education. After struggling with the IEP process at our local school and even applying to a different public school, we realized the support he needed wasn’t there. His academic struggles were affecting him mentally and emotionally, and we were determined to help.

While enjoying coffee with a friend, she mentioned a school nearby that catered to children with ODD, dyslexia, and other challenges. They didn’t provide accommodations like public schools but offered smaller classes, personalized tutoring, and tailored curriculums. It sounded like a perfect fit.

However, the costs were steep, and it meant our children were split between two different schools. My salary barely covered the tuition and fees. We decided to give it a year, hoping the school could equip our son with the necessary tools to succeed.

We were unprepared for the demands on our time. Many parents seemed to be at the school constantly, forming strong bonds with the staff. It became apparent that the more time you invested at the school, the more social capital you gained. I tried to keep up, but with my other school-aged kids and a full-time job, there wasn’t much time to spend ‘hanging out’ in the hallways.

In many respects, my oldest was thriving. He benefited from bi-weekly 1:1 tutoring sessions that built on each other, and we collaborated with the tutor on what to work on at home. It was intense, but he didn’t seem overwhelmed. His teacher praised him as a “joy” to have in class, and he appeared to be making friends and enjoying recess.

However, small issues began to arise. He struggled to connect with another boy in class who occasionally teased him during recess. The teacher assured me they could handle it, so I dismissed it as typical kid behavior.

After a month, the teasing escalated. My son started crying before school. The teacher reached out for additional support, stating they would involve the school counselor and work with both boys individually. At no point was my son seen as the instigator; rather, he was viewed as passive, and they planned to help him advocate for himself.

I felt comfortable with this plan. Then, the other child’s parents stepped in. Let’s call their son Ethan. He had attended the school since pre-K, and his family had deep ties to the institution. They felt Ethan was being unfairly singled out and requested a meeting with the teacher, my husband, and me, with the Head of School present.

During this meeting, the teacher laid out the timeline of events and proposed next steps. Ethan’s father reacted angrily, slamming his chair back and exclaiming, “I cannot believe this!” His mother, while remaining seated, spoke about her extensive presence at the school and denied any inappropriate behavior from her son. No one had been angry until then; we just wanted to resolve the issue.

After the meeting, the Head of School seemed distant and promised to follow up. A week later, she called and shocked me with her news: she believed my son’s learning needs weren’t being met at their school and suggested he would be better suited elsewhere. She insisted this decision wasn’t connected to the previous meeting, but I felt otherwise. My son was doing well academically and socially, and now he was being asked to leave.

I was devastated and furious. I inquired whether this was linked to the other parents threatening to withdraw their children, and while she avoided answering directly, I sensed the connection. I also questioned if it had to do with the fact that Ethan’s mother was always available to the school, building relationships that I hadn’t. The Head of School denied this as well.

My son was allowed to finish the week, but I didn’t feel right sending him back. I brought him in the next day to say goodbye to his friends and teacher. I was angry then, and I still feel that way about the injustice of it all. Even his teacher was emotional when he left, offering to support him through his transition to a new school.

This experience took a significant toll on my son’s self-esteem and progress. While he has since bounced back, he still feels sadness, anger, and confusion about what happened. I’ve written letters, made phone calls, and spoken with board members to express how we felt about their actions. Although some suggested legal action, we didn’t have the time or resources for that, nor did we want to prolong the struggle when our focus needed to be on him.

Both my husband and I believe that if we had more financial resources or time, we wouldn’t have faced such a situation. Our child was punished because we couldn’t afford to send our other children to this school or contribute more beyond tuition. It’s heartbreaking to see an authority figure choose to side with an affluent parent over the needs of a thriving student. This has left me disillusioned, and while I know not all private schools operate this way, I have gained a newfound respect for public school educators. They may not be perfect, but they often work under challenging conditions, and I appreciate them more now than ever.

If you’re interested in more insights, check out this other blog post here. For anyone looking into home insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the subject, and Healthline offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.

Search Queries:

Summary:

The author’s experience with a private school highlights the challenges faced when navigating a system that seems to prioritize social status and financial contributions over student needs. Despite positive initial progress, external pressures led to an unjust decision regarding their child’s education. This story underlines the importance of advocating for every child’s right to thrive in a supportive environment, regardless of their family’s financial situation.

Keyphrase: Private school experience

Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”