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Perhaps you had a savvy older sibling, cousin, or friend who introduced you to the world of intimacy, sharing tips about self-pleasure, lubrication, and various toys. If so, you might feel prepared for anything—dildos included. However, if that wasn’t your experience, you might still have questions (even as an adult). While vibrators and other innovative sex toys often steal the spotlight, dildos carry a certain mystique. You may have found yourself pondering how to use a dildo on more than one occasion.
At first glance, the function of a dildo may seem obvious since they are essentially substitutes for a penis. Yet, their usage involves more than just the act of insertion. Despite there being evidence of dildos dating back nearly 30,000 years, understanding how to effectively and safely use one is key. Here’s what you should know for solo or partnered play.
A Quick Note on Inclusivity and Safety
Dildos aren’t limited to any specific body part, gender, or sexual orientation. If you find pleasure in using a cylindrical object, that’s completely valid. And if dildos don’t appeal to you, that’s perfectly normal too.
When selecting a dildo, consider your own preferences and desired experiences. They come in a myriad of shapes, sizes, and textures, so it’s important to choose one that suits your needs.
Now, let’s discuss safety. Although using a dildo might seem inherently safe, it can transmit sexually transmitted infections if not properly sanitized. Bacteria can cling to your toy and your urethra, leading to potential infections. Always clean your dildo thoroughly both before and after use, and consult the care instructions that accompany your toy.
Opt for a dildo made from non-porous materials like high-grade silicone, stainless steel, or glass. If your dildo is porous, consider using a condom. If sharing with a partner, ensure proper cleaning between uses to prevent cross-contamination.
And of course, don’t forget the lube! A generous amount not only enhances comfort but also reduces the risk of tearing delicate internal tissue.
How to Use a Dildo With a Partner
As with any intimate activity, communication is crucial. Make sure you and your partner have consent and are comfortable throughout the experience. Lube is essential! Once you’re both ready, explore different positions and techniques—dildos can be used in various ways, and there’s no right or wrong approach.
Be attentive to your partner’s reactions and don’t hesitate to ask for feedback. Using a strap-on can heighten intimacy, allowing you to focus on pleasure points like the clitoris or other sensitive areas. Experiment with speed and depth to discover what feels best.
How to Use a Dildo for Solo Pleasure
Much of the information above applies to solo sessions too—especially the importance of lubrication and hygiene. Using a dildo alone is an excellent way to explore your own body and preferences. You might enjoy combining sensations, like using your fingers alongside the dildo or pairing it with a vibrator for clitoral stimulation.
One of the benefits of solo play is complete control over every aspect: speed, pressure, and depth can all be tailored to your liking. For ease of use, grip the dildo at its base for better control, and allow yourself to relax as you experiment with different positions.
If your dildo has a suction cup, consider attaching it to a wall or the shower floor for a hands-free experience.
Ultimately, whether you’re solo or with a partner, there are numerous ways to enjoy a dildo. If it doesn’t resonate with you, that’s perfectly okay—there are plenty of other options available.
How to Clean a Dildo
Before cleaning your dildo, refer to the care instructions that came with it. Generally, understanding the material is key. For those made from cyberskin, use mild antibacterial soap and warm water. For glass, hard plastic, or silicone toys, hot water and mild soap are your best bet. Always let your toys air dry.
Choosing the Right Dildo
When selecting a dildo, it’s essential to consider your own desires and preferences. Here are some tips:
- If you enjoy firm penetration, opt for glass, steel, or wooden options for intense sensations.
- Large or inflatable dildos are excellent for those who like a fuller feeling.
- For clitoral stimulation, vibrators can be a fantastic choice.
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