On a sweltering Fourth of July, I bumped into someone I hadn’t seen in a couple of years. The humidity had my hair plastered to my forehead, and my brave little boy sat snugly in my oversized yellow double stroller, the strap digging into my arm. My older son was jogging alongside my husband. I was surrounded by a wonderful group from our church, spreading joy in our community by handing out thousands of popsicles during the parade.
As I pushed through the heat, panting from the effort of managing nearly 100 pounds of weight while distributing popsicles with one hand, I offered this person a cheerful “Hello!” As I turned to continue on my way, I heard a faint remark: “She’s gained a lot of weight.”
Instantly, I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. My heart raced as if preparing for an attack. In that brief moment, I was momentarily stunned, but I knew I had to keep moving. I wanted to delve deeper into their thoughts about me, yet I simply couldn’t linger on their comment.
For two days, I wrestled with those words. I didn’t confide in anyone, not even my spouse, out of shame. The truth is, they were right. Yes, I have gained weight, but in that fleeting encounter, they failed to see the person behind the number. They focused solely on my weight, not on me as a whole.
I longed to return and share everything they couldn’t possibly understand — the struggles, the battles, and the triumphs that have led me to this moment. I wanted to tell them how I have faced immense challenges, how I’ve fought to be here today, proudly offering them a popsicle. I wanted to share the times I nearly didn’t make it and how I have persistently risen each time I stumbled.
Yes, I have put on weight. It would be simple to attribute it to insomnia, the heartache of watching my child suffer, or the chronic stress and worry that have become part of my life. But the reality is more complicated. I have played a role in this — the harsh and painful truth is that I have turned to food for comfort amid chaos, stress, and despair. But gaining weight doesn’t diminish my worth or my story.
I wish I could have told them about my recent achievement — running 100 miles for the third time just two weeks ago. While some might downplay this feat because I’m not the fastest runner, I am immensely proud of my endurance and grit. It takes incredible strength, both physical and mental, to push through the pain and fatigue for that long. Gaining weight does not equate to weakness; it reflects the journey I’ve been on.
As I reflected on their comment, I realized how pointless it was to be affected by the opinions of others. Why do we allow someone’s careless remark to linger in our minds? Why do we dismiss compliments yet let criticisms weigh heavily on our hearts?
This led me to a significant realization: I must become a better friend to myself. Next time I look in the mirror, I refuse to critique myself harshly. If I can’t say something kind to a friend, I shouldn’t say it to myself. I will acknowledge my efforts and allow myself grace. I am not a failure; I am a work in progress.
I encourage you to embrace this mindset too. Recognize your worth beyond any number on a scale. You are beautiful just as you are, regardless of weight. What truly matters is who you are and how you love yourself. Imagine the liberation of seeing yourself through the eyes of those who cherish you. That is the hope and the goal we should all strive for.
For more insights on navigating life’s challenges, including on topics like pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on the IVF process. You can also find valuable information about fertility journeys through services like this artificial insemination kit. Remember, it’s vital to treat yourself with the compassion you deserve.