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We often encounter the classic rom-com narratives where the awkward underdog wins the heart of the popular girl. Think of “Superbad,” where a clumsy teen manages to charm Emma Stone, or “There’s Something About Mary,” where Cameron Diaz ultimately chooses the unlikely hero over more appealing options. The list goes on with titles like “Revenge of the Nerds” and “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.”
We also have iconic stories that show the shy, overlooked girl capturing the heart of the handsome guy. Patrick Swayze famously declared that “Nobody puts Baby in the corner,” and by the end of “16 Candles,” it’s hard to believe Molly Ringwald ends up kissing her crush Jake on her sixteenth birthday. Pure magic!
However, it seems that fewer films portray the beautiful evolution of a friendship into a romance. Such stories might not garner high ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. Sure, “When Harry Met Sally” is a notable exception, but honestly, I remember more about the food court scene than the plot itself.
Imagine a film where a romance grows from a platonic friendship: 1.) Sam and Lily meet in medical school; 2.) They study together, texting about anatomy and lab reports; 3.) Who cares what else happens? The audience would likely drift into a collective slumber long before their friendship evolves into a romance.
Perhaps the friends-to-lovers theme simply doesn’t resonate well on screen, yet in reality, it flourishes. Dr. Elise Harper, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Sunshine, has been studying how relationships begin for the past 20 years. In her recent research, she focused on “friends-first relationship initiation,” a topic she believes has not been thoroughly explored.
Her findings were somewhat predictable, but still enlightening. “I expected friends-first initiation to be prevalent,” Dr. Harper told CNN’s Ryan Baker, “but I was surprised at just how dominant it was.” According to her research, about two-thirds of romantic relationships begin as friendships that develop over time. This trend appears to transcend age, ethnicity, and sexual orientation.
Despite the plethora of studies on immediate attraction, there is a lack of research on friendships evolving into romance. One barrier is the cultural “heterosexist scripts” that restrict scientific exploration. Dr. Harper explains that the prevailing notion is that relationships emerge from sexual attraction, prompting men to act boldly while women focus on being appealing and waiting for men to make the first move. This leads to a narrow viewpoint in research.
Now, I’m going to admit that I often fall into these traditional narratives myself. I may consider myself progressive, but I still find myself enchanted by the instant chemistry depicted in films. For years, I’ve preferred the immediate spark over the gradual build of a friendship.
Dr. Harper’s study encourages us to reevaluate our expectations around relationships. At the very least, it opens up a new avenue of inquiry. According to Dr. Nina Garcia, a clinical psychology professor at the University of Coastal Plains, more research is needed to determine if friends-first or dating-first relationships lead to healthier, long-lasting connections.
What if future studies reveal that couples who start dating tend to form secure, lasting bonds, while friends-first couples experience more ups and downs? That could make for a captivating film plot!
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In summary, while many romantic films showcase immediate attraction, real-life relationships often begin as friendships. Dr. Elise Harper’s groundbreaking research sheds light on this phenomenon, challenging societal norms and encouraging a fresh perspective on how love can develop.
Keyphrase: friendships turning into romantic relationships
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