Living in a Cozy Apartment with Three Kids: Embracing the Chaos

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“Please excuse the mess,” I often find myself mumbling to my feet (and the scattered toys around) whenever someone steps through my front door. But today, I’m here to declare that I’m done saying sorry for the state of my home. I’ve finally come to accept that if I lived solo, I could keep things tidy—at least, that’s my theory. I like to think of this as an achievement, especially considering my childhood nickname was “messy Marie.” However, since I don’t live alone but with four guys—three of whom are under eight years old—my dream of a spotless home remains just that: a dream.

No matter how much time I spend picking up Pokémon cards, LEGO pieces, clothing, and remnants of snacks, staying on top of the mess is nearly impossible.

I recognize several reasons for this ongoing chaos. First, I never inherited the gift of organization. As much as I want my space to look perfect, I simply don’t have the knack for it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and I still haven’t discovered my domestic strengths.

Second, the energy and motivation to tackle every piece of laundry, crumb, dish, and toy just isn’t there. During my rare free moments, I’d rather scroll through my phone than clean. After a grueling fourteen-hour day with the kids, which culminates in the two-hour bedtime saga, binge-watching “Bridgerton” (note to my mother-in-law, it’s not what you think!) is much more appealing than cleaning. When I do attempt to tidy up, my cleaning stamina resembles my jogging ability—disappointingly low.

Third, I have a secret affection for toys, especially LEGO. With generous grandparents around, our home has turned into a mini children’s museum over the years. I sometimes look back fondly at photos of when my first child was little and the floor was blissfully clear. But that didn’t last. I’ve come to terms with being a maximalist, despite my wish to be minimalist.

Fourth, living in a compact city apartment—with a combined living/dining area that serves as our playroom and limited storage—doesn’t help either.

Lastly, parenting three young boys creates a constant battle against chaos. One child creates a mess; each additional child multiplies it exponentially. Add in my boys’ energetic antics, and things can spiral out of control in a matter of seconds. While I didn’t inherit my mother’s organizational skills, my kids have inherited my chaotic tendencies, treating the floor like a dumping ground and walls as napkins (yes, that’s a true story).

Don’t get me wrong, I do spend a significant part of my day tidying up, but I often run out of steam before finishing everything. At best, I manage to keep the laundry and toys at a level that resembles cleanliness. Most of the time, the mess accumulates slowly, but weekends can see it explode, leaving me to spend my Monday mornings trying to recover from the chaos.

Occasionally, visiting friends who are super organized inspires me to create a similar ambience in my own home. However, the motivation fades as soon as I return home to the playful reminders of why that’s not feasible. I’ve witnessed the effort it takes to achieve a magazine-worthy home, and even if I could manage it, I often find it’s not worth the hassle.

I know I’m not alone in admitting that parenthood is challenging. Our priority is to ensure our kids are safe, happy, and entertained. Despite recognizing that many parents share these struggles, I still find myself apologizing for the mess to anyone who visits—from friends to neighbors to service providers. It’s a habit I can’t seem to shake.

But I don’t want to apologize anymore. I don’t want to be sorry for doing my best, even if that’s not perfect. More importantly, I want to embrace my imperfections. I’ve written this piece not only to share my experiences but also to remind myself to stop the apologies. Perhaps I’ll even post this article at my door to greet guests as a reminder to embrace the chaos.

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Summary:

Living in a small apartment with three young boys presents unique challenges, especially when it comes to keeping things tidy. While the chaos can feel overwhelming, it’s important to embrace imperfections and the reality of parenting. Rather than apologizing for the mess, it’s time to accept that doing your best is enough.

Keyphrase: small apartment parenting chaos
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”

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