I’m Typically a Type-A Parent, But This Year I’m Avoiding Academic Pressure for My Children

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I can hardly believe that my kids are heading back to school in just a week! This summer flew by, and now I find myself organizing school supplies, cleaning backpacks, and attending orientations. My inbox is overflowing with emails about bus schedules, updated policies, and reminders. The carefree days of summer are quickly giving way to another year of pandemic education.

This year, unlike in the past, I’ve decided to take a step back from obsessively tracking my kids’ grades and checking in with their teachers. Over the past 18 months, we’ve learned that our children’s mental health and overall wellbeing are paramount. This school year, I plan to minimize academic pressures and focus instead on ensuring my children are truly okay.

We’ve all been through so much, from remote learning to in-person classes, with mask and vaccine debates, the loss of extracurricular activities, and a whirlwind of changing guidelines. All of us have felt overwhelmed. Teachers, many of whom are parents too, became the unsung heroes of this crisis, thrust into a chaotic environment without warning.

The experience of remote learning has shown us that teaching is no easy task. Teachers are often overworked and underappreciated. Parents got a glimpse of what it means to be an educator, and many of us were ready to throw in the towel on a job we never signed up for.

With this newfound understanding, I feel compelled to share a vital message: let’s ease up. The key focus for our children shouldn’t be solely on academic achievements or test scores. They haven’t fallen behind and don’t need to be pressured to catch up. Who are they catching up to? We need to show compassion to our children, who have been through a traumatic experience. The same empathy must extend to their teachers.

I genuinely hope the pandemic has taught us that the most important aspect of our children’s lives is their mental, emotional, and physical health. They need to learn that prioritizing rest is more important than mastering complex equations, and that movement is more vital than striving for perfect report cards. Healthy social interactions are far more significant than submitting flawless research papers. We must model this for our children, encouraging them to strive for their best while also providing ample support and understanding. Striving for excellence shouldn’t come at the expense of their wellbeing.

I understand that some of you might think my approach is fine for younger kids, but what about high schoolers? I get it. Preparing older children for life after high school is crucial. As a former college instructor, I’ve seen students struggle when they relied too heavily on their parents for support. I’ve also seen those who thrived because they were well-prepared. However, if the only preparation these almost-adults receive focuses solely on academics, we as parents are failing them. Many students experience breakdowns due to unmet mental health needs.

Children of all ages must recognize that their entire being matters. Their health is not just about their academic performance. I’ve known brilliant students who faced severe stress after being pressured by parents and themselves to achieve at all costs. Even without a pandemic, I’ve learned that without holistic wellness, students can struggle, regardless of their GPAs.

By easing our expectations and reducing academic pressure, we can teach our kids to do the same. Ignoring our emotions and experiences in the wake of pandemic schooling is neither healthy nor beneficial. There have been significant challenges, and we continue to navigate new information about masks, vaccinations, and school policies.

I’ve had days when the pandemic hits hard, leaving me frustrated, confused, and heartbroken. If I’m feeling these emotions, why shouldn’t my children, who wear masks and are expected to learn under such conditions, feel them too? None of us could have anticipated or wished for this pandemic. We must create space for the emotional ups and downs that accompany learning during these times.

The pandemic has pushed us to be more adaptable than ever. While this can be a positive, constantly demanding more from ourselves and our children—and from their teachers—is simply unsustainable. What if we all agreed that it’s okay to do the bare minimum, to allow for creativity and rest, and to let go of unnecessary pressures? What if we extended grace instead of criticism and demands?

I hope that, despite the challenges, this school year becomes a memorable and joyful experience for my children and yours. I want my kids to learn to honor their entire selves, listen to their bodies, and understand that grades are not nearly as important as their wellbeing. This can happen if we, as parents, lead the way.

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Summary: In this article, a typically Type-A parent shares their decision to minimize academic pressure on their children this school year, emphasizing the importance of mental health and overall wellbeing over grades and test scores. The author reflects on the challenges faced during the pandemic and advocates for a more balanced approach to education that prioritizes emotional support and personal growth.

Keyphrase: Academic Pressure in Parenting

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