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Last week, I took my daughter and her friend to the mall, and during our ride, my daughter mentioned her school schedule. She expressed reluctance about taking French 3 since it’s not a requirement, especially after struggling with the subject for the past two years. In the backseat, their conversation shifted to the pressures of junior year—her friend said, “You need to load up on classes because colleges focus on your junior year. I’m taking band even though I hate it just to improve my chances.”
With each suggestion, I could see my daughter becoming more anxious. She enjoys working after school, cooking, and spending time with her pets, and managing school has always been a challenge for her. When the topic turned to senior projects and papers, my daughter visibly panicked.
I reminded them that junior year hadn’t even started, and it’s crucial to take things one step at a time. I cherish my daughter’s friendship with her peer, who excels in honors classes and private lessons, but my daughter has different aspirations. Before our outing, her friend was busy with her singing lesson and summer homework, while my daughter spent her day off playing with her animals and longboarding in the neighborhood.
My daughter, not in honors classes and uninterested in sports or clubs, wants to attend college but isn’t willing to endure unnecessary stress to get into a specific institution. We’ve explored various activities together, but pushing her into something she dislikes only brings her misery, which benefits no one.
While I value hard work, I refuse to let my children feel overwhelmed during their teenage years, compromising their quality of life and mental well-being. School doesn’t come naturally to her; she just aims to navigate the next two years without losing herself to anxiety or depression. Her friend thrives on structured activities, but my daughter needs more downtime and feels overwhelmed in large groups.
She finds joy in manageable schoolwork, time with animals, and earning money through part-time jobs, which gives her confidence and independence. Life enrichment is not about exhausting oneself to keep up with others or meet arbitrary standards. It’s about finding what genuinely brings happiness and fulfillment—something that shouldn’t be dictated by societal expectations.
I want my children to learn the importance of prioritizing their happiness. If they choose to work hard for college admissions, it should never come at the cost of their well-being. My daughter doesn’t need to take French or overextend herself with college applications, scholarships, work, and volunteering if it jeopardizes her junior year experience.
Today’s educational environment has become overly competitive, with students taking college courses in high school. I often wonder what they think they’re racing against—there’s ample time to discover their paths. Life is about striving for excellence but more importantly, it’s about identifying what brings joy and purpose.
Wanting my daughter to manage her commitments without sacrificing her mental health doesn’t signify laziness; I’m teaching her to prioritize her well-being. In the grand scheme, it’s more valuable to maintain one’s mental health than to achieve a goal at the expense of happiness. The journey towards college shouldn’t leave our teenagers feeling burned out or overwhelmed.
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Summary:
In the quest for academic success, it’s crucial to prioritize mental health and personal happiness over societal pressures. Encouraging teenagers to pursue their interests at their own pace, rather than succumbing to the stress of college admissions, will result in more fulfilling lives. Finding a balance between work and leisure, and understanding the importance of well-being, can lead to healthier, happier futures.
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Keyphrase: Quality of life for teenagers
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