Talking to Yourself: A Useful Coping Strategy

For many of us, there’s a constant stream of internal chatter that keeps us company throughout the day. We replay conversations, contemplate things we wish we had said, engage in both positive and negative self-talk, remember to-do lists, or even mull over our next snack or Netflix binge. However, some people externalize this internal dialogue — they talk to themselves.

This goes beyond the occasional muttered comment or a curse word escaping our lips. We ask ourselves questions, have in-depth conversations, and navigate through both trivial and significant thoughts in search of solutions or clarity.

Articulating our thoughts can also help us gain insight into our desires and thought patterns, serving as a valuable tool for self-reflection and awareness. In fact, talking to yourself can be an effective coping mechanism.

I’ve often been caught humming to myself when deep in thought, or muttering to myself in the grocery store as I search for the Fruit Loops. These instances of external expression are usually mindless; it’s as if I’m on autopilot, and words simply slip out without seeking interaction — although I have received help from kind strangers looking for the same items.

Interestingly, research shows that verbalizing what you’re trying to find can actually aid in locating lost items. It helps you visualize what you seek and reminds your brain of your goal. In moments of frustration, I sometimes joke that if I shout “wallet!” enough, it’ll magically appear — channeling my inner wizard, perhaps.

I’ve also found comfort in talking to myself more intentionally to soothe my feelings and gain clarity. Despite years of therapy, my therapists never labeled this practice, but it aligns well with somatic therapy, which combines cognitive and physical approaches to strengthen the mind-body connection.

Dr. Lisa Green, a psychologist and somatic practitioner, explains, “Somatic therapy focuses on becoming aware of your body, especially your nervous system. This awareness allows you to be present and observe how your body reacts.” For those with PTSD or a history of trauma, self-talk can serve as a grounding technique.

As a survivor of sexual abuse who grapples with body dysphoria, connecting my emotions to physical sensations can be daunting. I discovered that exercise was a powerful tool for establishing mind-body connections. Engaging in workouts or even simple walks helps to ease both my physical tension and mental stress. Practices like yoga and weightlifting encourage mindful breathing and movement, allowing me to feel secure in my body again. Differentiating between discomfort and genuine danger requires constant reassurance that I am safe. Past experiences do not always reflect current realities.

For me and many others, self-talk is a way to identify sources of anxiety and explore solutions. I often verbalize my feelings to process overwhelming emotions or understand why I might feel pain or exhaustion. This practice has become more instinctual over time, but there was a period when I was disconnected from my own body.

A fundamental question I ask myself daily is, “What do I need?” When I struggle to concentrate on work, choose a meal, shake off a headache, or feel overwhelmed, I try to speak to myself as I would to a friend or therapist. I’ll vocalize my question, then explore various possible solutions. Perhaps I’m tired, anxious, bored, or overstimulated. Maybe I feel exhausted by the mental drain of navigating a pandemic while worrying about my children’s health as well as my own.

Articulating these thoughts makes it easier to practice self-compassion; I can hear that it’s a lot to process. Speaking out loud acts as a release valve for my mental load. When I express my thoughts, they transform from bubbling worries into validated feelings. Acknowledging that I am scared and have a headache helps me realize I need a break, a stretch, or maybe even a nap.

It’s important to ensure that your self-talk remains constructive. This doesn’t mean avoiding negativity altogether but rather addressing challenges without self-blame. Using second-person affirmations like “You’ve got this,” “You are strong,” or “You will get through this” provides a positive framework that can drown out critical inner voices.

Self-talk helps me determine my next steps because I pay attention to my internal dialogue and honor the responses I give myself. I might decide to take a walk, listen to an audiobook, limit my work, or jot down my thoughts to clear my mind. While I’m not a therapist or an expert in therapeutic methods, these skills have been cultivated over years with the guidance of mental health professionals.

If you haven’t yet explored self-conversations, I encourage you to try it. You might discover that you are the most fascinating and insightful person you speak to all day. For further support, consider seeking out a mental health professional to help you develop healthy coping strategies. It may take some time to find what works for you, but the journey is worthwhile.

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Summary:

Talking to yourself can serve as a beneficial coping mechanism, helping you articulate your thoughts, process emotions, and gain clarity about your needs. It can enhance your awareness and allow for positive self-reflection, ultimately supporting mental and emotional well-being. Engaging in self-talk can also provide a sense of grounding, especially for those dealing with trauma or anxiety.

Keyphrase: Talking to yourself as coping mechanism
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