New Beginnings: A Year After Losing a Spouse — Here’s My Take on the Criticism of Moving On

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I don’t personally know Jessica Moore, though I have heard of her. I understand that her world transformed when her husband, who was also the father of her child, passed away from COVID-19 last summer. The day he died, everything she believed about life and its order flipped upside down, leaving her grappling with a profound loss that she feels every single day.

As a fellow young widow, I can relate to the struggles she faces. We are both navigating what it means to transition from “we” to “me,” as we find ourselves in homes filled with memories of our late spouses. We share the challenge of adjusting to life without someone who was not just a partner but also a friend and co-parent.

Recently, Jessica announced that she’s started dating again, prompting a wave of reactions. While some offered their support, others criticized her decision, suggesting that she was moving on too quickly. One comment implied that she was “jumping in fast,” which resonated with me and likely with many others who have experienced similar losses.

During my own journey, I began dating about two years after my husband’s passing, and I kept it under wraps for the first six months. I feared judgment from others—concerned they might think I was either moving on too soon or holding on for too long. The thought of being perceived as having “moved on” when my grief is still so present was daunting. My grief is intertwined with my love, and it will remain with me as long as I cherish the memories we created together.

Ultimately, I realized that the only person I needed to explain my choices to was myself. I owed it to myself—and my children—to pursue happiness. To those who criticize Jessica, or any widow for that matter, I say: We don’t owe you an explanation. Unless you’ve been in our shoes, you cannot judge our decisions.

Every widow’s experience is unique, and while we may share the same tragic bond, our individual paths after loss vary significantly. When a widow chooses to date, the response should simply be one of support. It takes immense courage to rebuild a life after losing a partner, and finding new joy doesn’t diminish the love we had for our late spouses.

Jessica recently addressed the judgment widows face when they decide to move on, sharing the difficulty of finding the bravery to date again while still missing her husband daily. She shouldn’t have to defend her choices at all. Loss is loss, and the death of a spouse profoundly alters everything in one’s life.

Thus, when a widow finds the strength to live for herself—whether by dating or simply choosing to get out of bed—the only appropriate response is love and support.

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In summary, it’s crucial to approach the topic of dating after loss with empathy. Each person’s journey is different, and instead of judgment, we should offer support to those navigating the complexities of grief and new beginnings.

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