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My friends and I were on a weekend Zoom catch-up, which, as usual, turned into a discussion about the challenges of juggling family life with everything else. “Ladies, let’s plan a weekend getaway! No partners, no kids—just us!” I suggested. The response was an enthusiastic and immediate YES. We were all feeling the strain and needed a break. With summer approaching after a long year indoors, and vaccinations completed, a mini escape was exactly what we needed! We envisioned nights filled with laughter, karaoke, and the joy of uninterrupted sleep—no toddlers yanking off blankets at dawn. So, we began organizing our long-awaited retreat, a chance for four moms to recharge.
A few weeks later, we Zoomed again with another friend, Mia, who had missed our earlier call. She had recently welcomed her first child and was planning a month-long stay with her parents. We excitedly shared our plans for the girls’ trip, not expecting her to join us. To our surprise, Mia was eager to participate—though she mentioned she would bring her baby along.
Cue the tension. How do you gently explain to a new mom that her baby can’t come? I took a deep breath and told Mia that from the start, we had envisioned this as a kid-free getaway to escape reality for a bit. While we all adore our children, we desired this time for ourselves to unwind and return home refreshed. I apologized but made it clear that having a baby with us would go against the purpose of our trip.
Mia’s hurt was palpable as she replied, “Wow! I thought you were excited to meet my baby…” Clearly disappointed, we reassured her that we couldn’t wait to meet her little one, but we wanted to do so at a more suitable time. I emphasized that we truly needed this break, where the absence of crying and tantrums was part of what we were yearning for. This seemed like a reasonable request.
Mia had always been the adventurous type before motherhood, so it must have been shocking for her to hear that a baby wouldn’t be welcome. But we had planned this trip to let loose and enjoy ourselves, which is impossible when focused on an infant! Every mom deserves a breather. I reassured her that in time, she would understand why our kid-free trip was so important to us.
About a week later, Mia proposed a compromise: she would stay in a different hotel and join us during the day with her baby. I appreciated her effort but had to decline once more, emphasizing that this was a kids-free getaway, with no exceptions. The essence of our escape was to focus solely on ourselves and not worry about a baby’s schedule.
Eventually, she decided to leave her baby with her parents for the weekend and join us for the full experience. The day of the trip arrived, and the first group of us headed to the resort on Friday, with Mia joining us Saturday morning. We enjoyed a relaxing lunch, a lovely hike, and took a refreshing swim. It was a blast!
As we strolled back to our suite, I remarked, “How could we have enjoyed ourselves with a six-month-old in tow?” Mia mentioned seeing another mom by the pool with her baby, still feeling a tinge of guilt. I pointed out that the other woman was with her husband and another child, clearly on a family trip. It’s common for mom guilt to creep in, but to take care of others, you must first take care of yourself!
Our Saturday evening ended splendidly, with a four-hour dinner filled with laughter and conversation. We returned to our suite for karaoke and games, realizing that having a baby with us would have cut our fun short, limited our volume, and prevented Mia from fully engaging in the festivities.
Mia stayed overnight and departed on Sunday morning, and it turned out to be a win-win for everyone. We all left the weekend feeling rejuvenated, ready to return to our kids with renewed energy.
I never expected to be in the position of telling a friend that her baby wasn’t welcome at a gathering—it’s a sensitive topic, and understandably so! However, I learned that setting boundaries is crucial. By standing firm on our initial plan, we all enjoyed a stress-free, baby-free weekend.
So, take that mom trip! Don’t feel guilty about prioritizing your needs and those of your friends to be the best moms possible.
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In summary, telling a friend her baby couldn’t come to a girls’ trip was uncomfortable, but it reinforced the importance of boundaries. By prioritizing our needs, we were able to enjoy a rejuvenating weekend together.
Keyphrase: Girls’ trip without kids
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