Why It’s Important to Teach Our Kids About Invisible Household Labor

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As a mother, I often find myself calling my son back into the kitchen, surrounded by his mess of an open bag of bagels and smeared cream cheese. “Get back in here,” I say, and he innocently bounds in, puzzled by my request. I ask him to take a look around. His eyes scan the kitchen, and he grimaces, realizing he left a trail of crumbs and chaos behind him.

This scenario happens frequently whenever my son prepares meals or moves things around. Rather than telling him what to clean up, I ask him to figure it out. Slowly, he’s learning to take more initiative, reducing the frequency of these reminders.

When my children were younger, I provided detailed chore lists. For instance, cleaning the bathroom included specific steps like “wipe down the base” and “scrub the bowl.” Now, I simply ask them to “clean the bathroom.” My son, who has ADHD, doesn’t naturally prioritize tidiness or organization, and that’s perfectly okay. I don’t expect perfection from him; however, I do want him to understand the importance of household responsibilities.

I refuse to raise a son who remains oblivious to his surroundings, expecting someone else to point out what needs to be done. Too many men grow up with the mindset that they need to be told what to do, leaving their partners to shoulder the invisible labor of managing the household. This emotional labor, often falling disproportionately on women, involves recognizing tasks that need attention and completing them without being asked.

It’s clear that both partners in a household, regardless of their work status, often find women taking on the bulk of this management role. The common refrain that women simply need to ask for help perpetuates this cycle of invisible labor. Many women echo this advice, not realizing they remain trapped in the same exhausting loop of expecting others to read their minds.

Imagine if young boys were taught to assess a room and identify what needs to be done, fostering an understanding of invisible labor from the start. What if they learned that when the trash is full, it needs to be taken out, or that they should transfer laundry from the washer to the dryer upon hearing the buzzer?

This is the goal I have for both of my kids, especially my son. I want him to grow up with the understanding that he should leave a space better than he found it. I remind him to look around before leaving a room. If it’s not tidier than when he entered, he should take action to fix it.

Teaching this skill may not come naturally for everyone, but it’s essential. We must actively engage our children in recognizing and addressing the needs of their environment. After all, the lesson of improving a space is a valuable life skill that will serve them well.

For more insights on household responsibilities, check out this related article on invisible labor.

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In summary, it’s crucial to cultivate in our children an awareness of the invisible labor involved in maintaining a household. By actively teaching them to recognize and address these tasks, we can prepare them for healthier, more equitable relationships in the future.

Keyphrase: teaching kids invisible labor

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