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In March 2020, I withdrew from the outside world with a barely noticeable baby bump. I had just started to share my pregnancy news at work and hadn’t even informed all my friends. Fast forward over a year, and now I’m stepping out with my 11-month-old daughter.
Motherhood is a whirlwind of new experiences, constant noise, and the reality of isolation. While this is likely true for all new moms, the experience during a pandemic has been uniquely isolating. My growing belly went largely unacknowledged, few people met my newborn, and hardly anyone witnessed my journey into motherhood. We missed out on the typical, albeit sometimes annoying, shared experiences that usually accompany this life transition.
“When I was pregnant, I secretly hoped for a stranger to come up and rub my belly in the grocery store,” shared Rachel, a member of my new moms group. “I craved those shared initiation moments, and without them, I worried about fitting into the mom community.”
Despite this, many of my friends with older children have voiced their concerns about being judged, receiving unsolicited advice, and navigating the pressures of motherhood. I tried to mentally brace myself for this reality before becoming pregnant.
Interestingly, I found that there was little judgment during my parenting journey—because no one was around to judge. My transition to motherhood took place within my own bubble. There were no critics observing how I nursed in public or strangers attempting to interact with my baby. The few pieces of advice I received were sought out. Yes, my new mom friends and I connected through Zoom calls and socially-distanced meetups, but there was no judgment—just support as we navigated those early months together. The outside world and its expectations felt distant.
While I often felt lonely during this time, it also allowed me to define my parenting experience on my own terms. With fewer distractions, I had an abundance of time to bond with my newborn. There were no pressures to adhere to schedules or navigate playdates. I relished those months of simply being with my daughter, focusing solely on our little family unit.
However, as the pandemic eases and life begins to return to normalcy, I now face the complexities of parenting in public. In some ways, I feel like a seasoned mom—I’ve endured sleepless nights, teething, and all the challenges that come with raising a baby. Yet, I also feel vulnerable and anxious about parenting in public spaces.
“There are so many little things to learn all at once,” says Jenna, whose baby is just a month older than mine. “I recently took my daughter to a restaurant, and I struggled to change her on the bathroom table. Had it not been for the pandemic, we would have gradually learned these things over time, but now it’s all happening at once.”
I’ve also experienced hesitation when it comes to parenting in front of others. A few weekends ago, we had our first family ice cream outing. While my husband purchased the treats, I chatted with our daughter, realizing that aside from family, very few people had seen me interact with her. For a brief moment, I questioned, “Do I look like a mom? Am I doing this right?”
“I’ve come to identify this as a late-onset imposter syndrome,” Jenna explained. “For so long, I didn’t have anyone around to question my methods. I did everything my way for the last nine months. Now, as I re-enter society, I find myself second-guessing every choice. Am I doing this right?”
There’s also a part of me that feels a sense of loss as this bubble of isolation comes to an end. It signifies my daughter’s growth. For the past 11 months, we’ve had an uninterrupted view of her milestones. Now, as one of the daycares we’ve been waitlisted for opens its doors in September, I feel a pang of sadness. The photos I took at her last doctor’s appointment showed a baby who is on the brink of toddlerhood. As we prepare to step back into the world, I know things will only become more complicated.
“There were certainly downsides to the pandemic and the isolation,” Jenna noted, “but we’ve enjoyed precious time with our babies. Now that we’ve experienced that closeness, letting it go will be challenging.”
This weekend, we’ll embark on our first family flight to visit relatives in Boston, followed by another trip to Buffalo. And just before her first birthday, we’ll board a flight to visit family in Ireland. While I’m navigating these experiences later than I had originally planned, I’m grateful for the joyful moments I’ve shared with her, living life at a slower pace before jumping back into the wider world.
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Summary:
The article discusses the unique experience of becoming a mother during the pandemic, highlighting feelings of isolation and the absence of societal judgment. While the author enjoyed the simplicity of motherhood in a bubble, she now grapples with anxiety about parenting in public as the world opens up. The transition brings mixed emotions of joy and sadness as she prepares for her daughter to grow up and navigate new challenges.
Keyphrase: Parenting during the pandemic
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