40+ Hilarious Sales Jokes to Use When You’re Being Upsold

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Salespeople often get a bad rap. They’re seen as smooth talkers who will say anything to make a sale, echoing Alec Baldwin’s famous line from Glengarry Glen Ross: “Always be closing.” But let’s flip the script: these hustlers work tirelessly, wield charm like a superpower, and are often more resilient than we give them credit for. Plus, some beloved characters from pop culture—like Michael Scott from The Office and Dwight Schrute—are salespeople too!

To celebrate the lighter side of sales, we’ve compiled a collection of amusing sales jokes that even your neighborhood car salesman would chuckle at.

Sales Jokes and Puns:

1. Why was the shoe salesman always dancing? He had a lot of sole!
2. How can you tell when a salesperson is being dishonest? Their lips are moving.
3. Why did the amplifier salesperson lose their job? They couldn’t achieve a sufficient volume of sales.
4. What did the Velcro salesperson say when they quit? “I just couldn’t stick with it.”
5. What do you call an insurance salesman? Justin Case!
6. How did Yoda land his first lead? He relied on SalesForce.
7. What did the salesperson say about the computer? “It’ll cut your workload by 50%.” The office manager replied, “Great! I’ll take two!”
8. What type of salesperson has the slickest line? A hair grease salesperson.
9. What are the three things a sales manager measures? A) Carpet thickness in their office. B) Desk area. C) Car engine volume.
10. How do salespeople greet one another? “Hi! Nice to meet you. I’m better than you.”
11. What did the carpet salesperson get their wife for Valentine’s Day? Rugs and kisses.
12. What do you need to know to be a real estate salesperson? A lot!
13. Would you like to buy a pocket calculator? “No thanks, I know how many pockets I have.”
14. What does a hat salesman drink in the morning? A cappuccino.
15. A salesman claimed the shoes were alligator leather, but I knew it was a crock.
16. Always trust a glue salesperson; they stick to their word.
17. A former boomerang salesman is trying for a comeback.
18. A sales manager addressed their underperforming team, saying, “We’ll have a contest this month. Winners will join next month’s contest.”
19. At a dinner party, a salesman said, “Oh, you work 40 hours a week? I remember my first part-time job too.”
20. Boss: “Did you get any orders today?” Salesman: “Yes, two!” Boss: “What were they?” Salesman: “Get out!” and “Stay out!”
21. Patient: “Help! I talk to myself too much.” Doctor: “Why?” Patient: “I’m a salesman, and I keep selling myself things I don’t need.”
22. A customer confronted a salesperson about pants labeled ‘100% cotton’ instead of ‘pure wool.’ The reply? “Oh, that’s just to keep the moths away.”
23. As a rock salesman, I’ve found success with money. Sometimes I take it for granite.
24. Did you hear about the traveling pasta salesman? His commission was penne’s on the dollar.
25. A traveling salesman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?” The salesman answers, “Amazon.”
26. I bought a Christmas tree today. The salesman asked if I planned to set it up myself. I said no, it’s going in my living room.
27. What does a cowboy car salesman say? AAAUUDIII!
28. A man’s wife left him for a tractor salesman. She wrote him a John Deere letter.
29. I shouldn’t have bought balloons from a salesman with commitment issues; there were no strings attached.
30. What do you call a bike tire salesman? A spokesperson.
31. What’s the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman? A used car salesman knows when he’s lying.
32. I once worked as a door-to-door salesman selling “no soliciting” signs.
33. Why did the girl fall for a ginger ale salesman? She was Schwepped off her feet.
34. Did you hear about the battery salesman? He charged too much but got positive reviews.
35. The salesperson showed us a PowerPoint presentation on the water park we were visiting. It included several slides.
36. What’s the difference between a brick salesperson and a boxer? One stocks rocks, the other rocks socks.
37. Why did the German sales team get kicked out of the sausage convention? One was the wurst person ever.
38. What did the sales leader say when asked if she read magazines? “I do periodically.”
39. What did the sales rep say when his manager said, “The word ‘impossible’ isn’t in my dictionary!” He replied, “Sir, didn’t you check inside before buying it?”
40. In a small Italian town, three violin makers put up signs claiming to be the best. The Stradivarius family simply stated, “We make the best violins on the block.”

Need more laughs? Check out our other blog for great content!

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In summary, salespeople may be known for their persuasive tactics, but they can also bring a lot of humor to the table. Whether you’re facing an upsell or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to lighten the mood!

Keyphrase: Sales jokes

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