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“Sex/Life” begins like many other shows centered around women facing a midlife crisis — featuring flashbacks, voiceovers, and the realization that life hasn’t unfolded as expected. It resonated with me so much that I sat up straight and texted my friend, “Why does this feel like my life?” But soon, the narrative took a turn.
Netflix seemed to capture the essence of what many of us ponder: Who am I now that I’m a mother? Where did the woman I used to be go? Is there room in this life for both me and my former self? It was relatable — until it wasn’t, which happened roughly ten minutes into the first episode.
I suspect the creators realized they were in over their heads. The main character, Billie, navigates her current life while flashing back to her past and an old flame, despite being happily married to what seems to be the ideal partner and raising two kids in the suburbs. She used to be ambitious and successful, yet now finds herself entangled in fantasies about a “dangerous” bad boy from her past while managing the demands of motherhood. Billie dodges his calls, daydreams about him while breastfeeding, and ultimately writes about her feelings in an online journal — which her husband discovers, leading to awkward attempts to rekindle their romance.
The show tries to address the confusion and loss many women feel post-motherhood, but the proposed solution seems simplistic: “spice up your sex life.” I can confidently say that this is not the answer.
Initially, I thought, “This must have been produced by a man.” To my surprise, it was actually created by a woman, Stacy Rukeyser, who has a background in writing for shows like One Tree Hill. After looking her up, I found out she’s been married for over a decade and has two children, leaving me even more baffled.
Further research led me to BB Easton, the author of 44 Chapters About 4 Men, the memoir that loosely inspired Sex/Life. However, the show’s excessive nudity and the portrayal of Billie’s longing create a viewing experience that is uncomfortable, if not painful. It’s disheartening that Netflix presents this as a conversation about the struggles women face after having children.
Many mothers undergo profound transformations, and it often feels like we lose our previous selves overnight. Society discourages us from mourning that loss because it may be seen as selfish. We find ourselves overwhelmed with the demands of motherhood — from changing diapers to managing schedules.
To frame this experience as a mere midlife crisis is regressive, suggesting that a woman’s dissatisfaction with her life equates to insanity. The narrative reinforces outdated stereotypes about motherhood and fulfillment.
While I haven’t finished the series yet, I’ve heard that SPOILER ALERT Billie ultimately runs away. The implication is that she can’t possibly confront her issues or communicate with her husband — instead, she takes the easy way out.
I might place this show in the same category as the disappointing Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. I’m weary of seeing strong women portrayed in such a subservient light. Whether you call it mom porn or smut, it’s simply a narrative about lost connections, poorly executed.
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Summary
In “Sex/Life,” the exploration of a woman’s identity post-motherhood quickly devolves into a clichéd plot that fails to address the complexities of motherhood. The show’s premise had promise but ultimately falls short, suggesting superficial solutions rather than meaningful dialogue.
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