The Unrealistic Portrayal of Adult Friendships on TV

pregnant woman throwing toddler in the air sitting by a tree

I frequently go weeks without seeing one of my closest friends, Sarah, who lives just down the street. Our busy schedules often clash, making it tough to meet up.

Our text exchanges typically look like this:
Me: Hey, are you free for lunch on Friday?
Her: I have a meeting about an hour away, but I could do something later around 2?
Me: That won’t work for me. I need to pick up the kids from their dad’s, plus they have orthodontist appointments. How about this weekend? I could do coffee on Saturday or Sunday?
Her: Could we do dinner on Saturday? My kids have lacrosse games all weekend.
Me: I can’t make that; it’s date night, and we’ve got reservations.
Her: Alright, let’s try again next week. Things should calm down then.

And so it goes.

The next week came and my schedule was jam-packed, leaving no room to catch up. I did manage to drop off her favorite chocolate and peanut butter bars on her doorstep while running errands, so at least there’s that.

When another mutual friend invited us to an early morning workout class last Saturday, we were both relieved to find an hour where our families would be asleep and, hopefully, no one would need us.

We exercised, then caught up in the parking lot where we both shed a few tears, shared sweaty hugs, and discussed the challenges of life. It wasn’t glamorous—no fancy brunches or stylish outfits like you’d see on Sex and the City. But it was meaningful enough.

As we hurried off, we talked about finally having that lunch together. I know we’ll make it happen before the year ends, but it’ll require some careful planning.

We don’t have time for shopping sprees. Our Friday nights aren’t spent lounging with oversized mugs like in an episode of Friends. While I love shows like Friends and Sex and the City, I’ve sometimes felt that my friendships were lacking while binge-watching. But that’s not true.

Real friendships, even if they don’t resemble those on television, still matter. In reality, making time for a simple phone call can be challenging. After becoming a mom, plans often fall through because life happens. Sometimes, it’s just too draining to meet up, even if it’s been on the calendar for ages.

Shows like Friends, The Golden Girls, and Sex and the City are comforting, but they don’t reflect reality. When you’re juggling kids, a job, and a marriage, there’s little energy left for friendships. They aren’t your top priority, and you can’t see each other five times a week. Your friends don’t live right next door with all the time in the world to spend together.

As adults, we find ourselves tangled in life’s demands, understanding the desire to see each other but often unsure when that will happen next. The friendships portrayed on TV create an illusion that sustaining friendships requires little effort and is always enjoyable.

In the real world, friendships evolve. They can be set aside for a time, fade away, and require significant work to nurture. Finding new friends or “your people” as an adult can feel daunting.

So, the next time you wonder where your “Rachel” or “Miranda” is, remember that genuine friendships don’t resemble those in scripted shows. Just enjoy the entertainment and keep seeking opportunities to connect with your friends in ways that fit your busy lives—it will happen, even if it’s just a quick Diet Coke in a McDonald’s parking lot. For more insights on navigating relationships and parenting challenges, check out this other blog post.

If you want to explore more about starting a family, you can also refer to this authority on fertility. Another great resource for pregnancy information is the CDC.

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Summary:

The essay discusses the stark contrast between the idealized friendships depicted in television shows and the realities of adult friendships. It emphasizes the challenges of maintaining connections amidst busy schedules, parenting, and work. Real friendships require effort and adaptability, often lacking the glamour seen on screen. Ultimately, it encourages readers to appreciate their friendships for what they are, even if they don’t match the fictional portrayals.

Keyphrase: adult friendships in reality

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