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The countdown has officially begun. My eldest is just a day away from turning 9, and I find myself overwhelmed with mixed emotions. She’s been reminding me constantly that this birthday marks her transition into a tween. “Mom, I’m not a little kid anymore!”
Sweetheart, I completely understand.
Just last week, she rode off on her scooter to a friend’s house—without me. No drop-off, no hug, no reassurance needed before stepping out to explore the world. Thankfully, her friend’s mom texted me to confirm she arrived safely. In reality, it’s a short walk, so I wasn’t overly worried. But I can’t shake this feeling about her growing independence. It’s a good thing, right? It’s all part of growing up (cue “The Lion King”). She’s kind, respectful, and enjoying time with her friends. Yet, I can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness.
Remember how people said that kids grow up in the blink of an eye? I rolled my eyes and laughed, thinking they were exaggerating. But now, as I reflect on those late-night parenting sessions, I find myself longing for those days. I know, you might think I’m crazy! Who would want to sacrifice a full night’s sleep, peaceful showers, or the chance to enjoy a meal out without interruptions?
I would. I’d gladly trade a night of sleep for the reassurance that I’m doing this parenting thing right. I’d swap uninterrupted showers for a few more cuddles and being preferred over screen time. I’d choose home-cooked dinners (let’s be honest, probably takeout) over calm brunches where she’s more focused on the world around her than sharing about her day. At that restaurant, she becomes aware of her surroundings, and suddenly spotting a boy named Kyle consumes her attention.
This is the exciting part. I remember my first crush, but I also recall wanting to keep it secret from my mom, fearing she’d make a big deal out of it—much like I want to do with Kyle. But I won’t. I want her to feel comfortable sharing these moments with me. I once overheard her friend talking about her “boyfriend,” and I couldn’t help but chuckle. At eight—excuse me, almost nine—”boyfriends” are just people you chat with on the phone or play games with.
Then there are the tougher conversations, like why she wasn’t invited to a birthday party or why friends have phones while I believe she isn’t ready yet. I dread the day she starts expressing insecurities about her body. Sorry, kiddo, but you’ve inherited my shape. I’ve seen you try to fit into jeans that cling more to your thighs than your waist.
I take comfort in the fact that she still needs her pink teddy bear at bedtime and requests at least two songs before sleep. Yes, I sometimes express frustration when she asks for one more tuck-in, but I cherish those moments deeply.
There are so many emotions swirling around, and countless unknowns await us in this new phase. I might wish for a do-over on many things, but this journey is about you, my dear tween. My role is to love you unconditionally, guide you, and allow you the freedom to make your own path. While you embrace this new chapter at nine, here are some things to keep in mind.
Things to Remember
Remember, your younger sister looks up to you. I know she can be a pain, mimicking everything you do, but she’s inspired by you. I hope you both develop a strong bond as you grow, similar to mine with your Aunt.
Never stop learning. Even when you think you know everything, keep an open mind. Your intelligence and passion for learning are remarkable—never lose that spark. I was so proud when you got your first library card. While it signifies your growing independence, I know I’ll still be here to support you. After all, you’re my daughter, and even I have misplaced things, like car keys!
I could share countless wishes for you as you embark on this exciting journey, but I’ll leave you with this: always be true to yourself. You are perfect just as you are, and I wouldn’t change a thing. Even with all my conflicting feelings, I couldn’t be prouder of the tween you’re becoming. This adventure is about to get wild—for both of us—but I promise to be by your side every step of the way.
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Summary
As my daughter turns 9 and transitions into a tween, I experience a whirlwind of emotions. While I celebrate her newfound independence and growth, I also find myself longing for the simpler moments of her childhood. This post reflects on the joys and challenges of parenting through this significant developmental stage.
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