In My 40s, I Care Less and Live More

As I reflect on my journey, the evolution of my priorities is striking. In my 20s, I was fixated on appearance—hair, makeup, and outfits had to be flawless. I chased societal approval, always worried about how I came across to others. Fast forward to my 30s, and while I shifted my focus to family, I still felt the pressure to look good. I opted for a chic all-black wardrobe, experimented with hair color, and juggled the roles of a young mom with style and a cool job, all while seeking validation through social media.

Then came my 40s, and everything changed. Suddenly, I found myself liberated from the need for external validation. Sure, I still enjoy makeup and styling my hair, but my choice of clothing has transitioned to comfort over fashion. Running errands in tank tops and gym shorts while sporting a full face of makeup has become my new normal. No, I don’t plan on hitting the gym, and yes, my shoes may be practical but they aren’t winning any fashion awards. And you know what? I don’t care one bit about what anyone thinks.

I’ve stopped making excuses for my choices. For instance, one morning after dropping my kids at school, I craved Starbucks. Dressed in a nightgown and slippers, I chose to brave the store instead of waiting in a long drive-thru line. I received some curious glances, perhaps from those across the street at the hospital, but honestly, I didn’t give a damn. I wanted my grande skinny vanilla latte, and that was all that mattered.

Dinner time is no different. If my kids turn their noses up at what I’ve cooked, that’s their problem. I’ve spent years catering to their taste buds, and now I’m reclaiming my dinner. If I want breaded chicken and peas, then that’s what I’m having—even if they prefer something else. And my Diet Coke? It’s my guilty pleasure, and I’m not giving it up for anyone.

I express myself through writing, using colorful language and sharing my life’s details without shame. If you don’t like it, that’s perfectly fine—just scroll past. I’m not here to please everyone. Likewise, I’m not striving for perfection in my home. With four kids, messiness is a given. If you’re looking for a pristine house, you may want to look elsewhere.

Friendships have also shifted in my 40s. With a busy life centered around my kids, I don’t have the energy to pursue friendships as I once did. I cherish the few close friends I have and prefer the simplicity of picking up where we left off, even after months apart. I’m here to focus on my family and my own happiness.

As I embrace this new phase of life, I look forward to the changes that may come with my 50s, potentially becoming a grandmother. But for now, I’m savoring my 40s, rocking my red lipstick, and blasting ’90s rap in my minivan. And speaking of that van, I’m even considering ordering some eyelashes for the headlights—it might just be the fun touch it needs!

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In summary, my 40s are about embracing who I am and living authentically. With no apologies or explanations, I’m focused on my happiness and enjoying every moment, no matter how messy life gets.

Keyphrase: living authentically in your 40s

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