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My son always texts me when he’s on his way home, prompting me to start dinner. A few weeks ago, while I was preparing a meal, I heard a woman shouting outside. Since I hadn’t heard his car arrive, I was completely puzzled.
When I looked out the window, I saw my son still in his car while a woman from down the street was yelling at him, her face flushed and her voice nearly at a scream.
I overheard my son acknowledge that he had been speeding and offer an apology. As I stepped outside to see what was happening, the woman quickly left the scene.
After discussing the incident with my son, he admitted to going too fast on our road. “I was going 25, and she waved for me to slow down,” he explained. I reminded him that safety is paramount and that he needs to heed those warnings.
However, I was baffled by her extreme reaction. I didn’t appreciate her shouting at my son, especially when he was making eye contact and apologizing.
When I spoke with this woman, who doesn’t have kids, it became obvious that her anger stemmed from a place of frustration. She was relaying the story to me while raising her voice. I told her I understood where she was coming from and that I would also want someone to address my kids if they were being unsafe, but her tone was excessive.
This was the first time she had ever spoken to my son, and he said she had been yelling the entire time. If she had approached him with a calm, “You were going too fast, and I want you to be safe and keep our road safe, so please slow down,” it would have resonated much better with his 18-year-old mind.
She rolled her eyes at me, clearly believing that children should automatically respect adults, and expected both my son’s and my own respect, despite her lack of it. It felt like she was upset that we didn’t fear her.
Most parents don’t mind when someone rightfully addresses their child’s behavior. I can admit that my children aren’t perfect. They test boundaries and make mistakes.
However, that doesn’t give anyone the right to disrespect them or raise their voice. The era of believing children must respect their elders unconditionally is long gone.
It’s simply unacceptable to speak to them in a manner that you wouldn’t want to be treated, simply because they are younger. It’s also not right to get angry when they assert themselves.
I refuse to stand by and allow someone to disrespect my kids just because they think they have authority. If I don’t advocate for my children, they won’t learn to stand up for themselves and might believe that they should yield to aggressive behavior.
My son was polite and doesn’t enjoy confrontation. He acknowledged his mistake. Is he flawless? No. Nobody is. We need to extend more understanding toward kids and their errors.
This doesn’t equate to a lack of consequences or discussions. More understanding doesn’t mean that parents will think their kids are beyond reproach and that everyone else is delusional for pointing out their mistakes. It simply means treating them with the same respect we’d expect when we err.
Being a child doesn’t justify disrespect or condescension. If you attempt to treat them that way, know that this generation of parents — and this mom in particular — will not accept it.
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In summary, children deserve respect and understanding, just like adults. It’s crucial to address their mistakes constructively, without resorting to harsh language or aggression. Advocating for our kids teaches them to stand up for themselves in the face of disrespect.
Keyphrase: Parenting and Respect
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