Before Engaging with ‘Fat Positive’ Communities: Key Considerations

In virtually all cases, we carry a degree of fatphobia. Whenever I bring this up, I often hear a few standard reactions. There’s the crowd that insists, “No way! I’m not fat phobic at all!” Then, there are those who claim, “Fatphobia doesn’t exist; you just want to feel like a victim.” And let’s not forget the individuals who attempt to compliment fat women in a misguided way. (A note: That’s NOT what fat positivity represents.)

However, there are also individuals who genuinely wish to learn and grow. They are self-aware enough to recognize that our society glorifies thinness, and thus, it’s reasonable to acknowledge that we may possess biases against fat bodies. They seek to transform their longstanding beliefs about fatness and are open to understanding new perspectives.

Today, I’m speaking to that audience. If you’re not here to reflect or if you feel the need to defend problematic viewpoints, this isn’t the space for you.

Let’s clarify: Fatphobia is the belief that fat bodies are inferior to their thinner counterparts. This bias permeates our culture, and even those in larger bodies can sometimes internalize it.

As someone who identifies as fat, I often discuss the topic of fatness. Over the years, I’ve worked hard to reshape my understanding of fat bodies. Yet, I still grapple with unrealistic body ideals and comparisons to other fat individuals in my quest for self-acceptance. Acknowledging these challenges is crucial. I confront these feelings, talk them over with trusted friends, and hold myself accountable. Still, internalized fatphobia is indeed fatphobia—and recognizing my own self-directed negativity during vulnerable moments indicates that I have more work to do.

I frequently gather valuable insights on fat positivity from content creators online. For instance, a thread by Jamie Lee is truly enlightening. There are countless brilliant individuals sharing their wisdom online, educating us with every post. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok are my go-to sources for quick doses of fat positivity and education. (Quick note: If you appreciate a creator’s work, especially if they are a person of color, consider supporting them financially. They shouldn’t have to provide their insights for free.)

The sense of community I find in fat-positive online spaces is a balm for my diet-culture-wounded spirit, and I believe everyone could benefit from engaging with these communities. However, before you dive in, here are some essential points to consider.

Recognize the Fatness Spectrum

It’s indisputable that those who are heavier often face greater challenges in our thin-centric culture. We no longer need to debate this fact.

While many fat individuals share common experiences—like facing bullying or frustration with clothing options—those in larger bodies often endure unique hardships. When they advocate for changes that would enhance accessibility for them, it’s crucial to listen, even if their experiences differ from your own.

Avoid Speaking Over Those with Larger Bodies

If you identify as fat, ensure you don’t overshadow others who may be larger. When someone shares their experience of size discrimination, refrain from dismissing it by equating it to your own experiences as someone with a smaller frame. Your role in fat-positive environments should be to absorb, learn, and carry those lessons into your own communities.

Don’t Limit What You Consider Acceptable Fatness

If we aspire to create a more inclusive world, it’s counterproductive to exclude those at the heaviest end of the spectrum. As a fat person without an hourglass figure, I often notice that certain bodies receive more validation than others. It’s essential for our fat positivity to encompass all body types, not just those that align more closely with societal beauty standards.

Be Prepared to Confront Your Own Negative Attitudes Toward Fatness

This realization can be uncomfortable and disappointing. Yet, it’s necessary for dismantling anti-fat mindsets. If you find yourself thinking, “I’m glad I’m not fat,” that’s a form of fatphobia. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step toward understanding the biases we hold.

If you find yourself judging individuals based on their size, you must recognize that you are imposing societal limits on them. Respect and dignity should extend to all bodies, regardless of size or perceived health.

Let Go of the Obsession with Perfect Health

Not all fat individuals are unhealthy, just as not all thin people are healthy. The idea that someone must attain perfect health to deserve respect is flawed. We must acknowledge that people of all sizes deserve dignity, regardless of their health status.

In Summary

When engaging in fat-positive spaces, prioritize listening over speaking. Understand that fat individuals are complex beings with rich lives. Strive to learn about their experiences without centering your own. By doing so, you’ll become a better ally to the fat individuals in your life and a kinder critic of your own body.

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