40+ Bank Jokes and Puns That Will Make Your Wallet Smile

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Comedy legends like Joan Rivers, Wanda Sykes, Jerry Seinfeld, and Chris Rock discovered a long time ago that the key to humor lies in finding joy in the ordinary and shared experiences. Whether it’s a trip to the dentist or a visit to the bank, these everyday activities often provide the best comedic material.

Speaking of banks, there’s nothing quite like the blend of long lines, outdated technology, and missing pens to inspire a good laugh. That’s why bank jokes and puns are so much fun! While accountant jokes and money puns can be entertaining, there’s something about a good loanshark quip that really tickles the funny bone. Here’s a collection of the most amusing bank jokes that even your teller would chuckle at.

  1. Give a man a gun, and he’ll rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he’ll rob everyone.
  2. What did the football coach say when he visited the bank? “I want my quarterback!”
  3. Why did the teller lose his job? An elderly lady asked him to check her balance, so he tipped her over.
  4. Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank? He lacked the guts.
  5. If you have no interest in banking, you’re not a loan.
  6. Why was the woodchopper apprehended at the bank? He walked in, pointed a stick at the ceiling, and shouted, “This is a stickup!”
  7. If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?
  8. When does it rain money? When there’s a “change” in the weather.
  9. What did the comedian say upon entering a bank? “This is a stand-up.”
  10. A naked man robbed a bank, but nobody could recall his face.
  11. A basketball player and a horse jockey just pulled off a bank heist. Police are searching high and low for the culprits.
  12. Why did the bank owner purchase cows? To beef up security.
  13. What do you call a man filled with coins? Headquarters.
  14. Where do fish stash their cash? In the riverbank.
  15. People who rob banks and jewelry stores are bad, but those who rob bakeries really take the cake.
  16. What did the recluse tell the bank teller when he needed cash? “Leave me a loan.”
  17. Why are Irish bankers so prosperous? Because their capital’s always Dublin.
  18. Why is a river wealthy? Because it has two banks.
  19. Why do goalkeepers have so much money? They’re excellent at saving.
  20. My dad always told me to work until my bank account resembles a phone number, so I did. Account balance: $9.11.
  21. I once had an account with a bank at the North Pole, but they froze all my assets.
  22. What did the nut say when robbing a bank? “Give me all the cashew have!”
  23. What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark.
  24. Why did the old man bring raisins to the bank? He wanted to set up a current account.
  25. If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
  26. A criminal robbed a bank in a suit made of mirrors, but he turned himself in after reflecting on his actions.
  27. My uncle claimed to have a fortune in a safe deposit box. He left me the key in his will. I opened it to find a note saying, “Good things are ahead for you. Your lucky numbers are 6, 10, and 13.”
  28. Why did the elderly woman put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold, hard cash.
  29. I quit my job at the bank today. You could say I lost interest.
  30. The bank must really like me; they keep saying my loan is outstanding.
  31. Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank? To check his balance.
  32. Did you hear about the gold digger? They enjoy leisurely strolls to the Bank of America.
  33. Chuck Norris doesn’t have a bank account; he tells the bank how much he needs.
  34. What did the bank teller say to the customer? “Bank you very much!”
  35. What’s the toughest part about being addicted to banking? The withdrawals.
  36. What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch.
  37. Always borrow money from a pessimist; they won’t expect it back.
  38. Why did the banker pass away? He cashed out.
  39. Sign over the bank teller’s station: “To err is human; to forgive is not bank policy.”
  40. What do fish use as currency? Sand dollars.

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Summary

This collection of bank jokes provides a lighthearted take on banking experiences. From clever puns to amusing anecdotes, these jokes highlight the humor found in everyday situations at the bank. Whether you’re standing in line or chatting with a teller, a good laugh can make the experience more enjoyable.

Keyphrase: Bank jokes and puns

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