I’m Exhausted From Being Labeled ‘Resilient’

I had a rough day recently and decided to share it on social media. Someone responded, “You’re so resilient.” I fought the urge to throw my laptop across the room. That person meant well, intending it as a compliment, a way to say, “You’re handling everything so well; keep it up.” They meant to acknowledge my efforts, but what I truly needed to hear was: I’m here for you. I see your struggles. You can let go of the weight you’re carrying.

As a modern parent, I’m weary of being called “resilient.” My days are filled with the chaos of raising children, a task that can feel as challenging as herding a pack of wild animals. I love my kids; they bring me immense joy. Yet, there are moments when their noise and energy become overwhelming. On particularly chaotic days, when they all seem to shout at once, I long to cover my ears and scream along with them, but I can’t. As my therapist reminds me, in those moments of turmoil, I have to be the emotionally mature one.

I’m tired of always being the strongest one in the room.

My strength is akin to the coffee I gulp down at dawn. The sun takes its time rising, while I’ve already formed bonds with the local birds that sing before it shows up. I’m so “strong” that sleeping in has become a distant memory; my body wakes me at five or five-thirty. My husband snoozes peacefully, and I often hear my friends marvel at my early rising. They admire it, thinking it’s a choice, a sign of productivity.

But the truth is, I rise early because I have no other choice. I work hard. Perhaps you juggle laundry, dishes, or tidy up the house during those precious, quiet hours before your family wakes. That time alone is a gift you’ve learned to appreciate out of necessity, and then you’re commended for being so industrious.

When I post on social media at four in the morning, I wish for someone to say, “Why are you awake at this ungodly hour?”

Like many, I share memes and articles that resonate with my experiences. Some are humorous, while others hit hard: they touch on parenting challenges, estrangement, or trauma. I don’t shy away from acknowledging their relevance. Since my family is blocked, I often comment, “I relate to this so much.” And then the avalanche of replies begins: “You’re so strong,” “You manage this so well,” “You’re handling everything like a champ.”

Perhaps you’ve done something similar, posting about a breakup or a loss. Whether directly or indirectly, you share something painful, and friends quickly respond with praise for your bravery and strength.

They mean well, but it becomes an empty gesture, a verbal overflow of sympathy. At this moment, like many, I don’t want to be strong. I don’t want to cope so effectively. I yearn for someone to say, “It’s okay to break down,” or “I’m here for you; let’s talk.” I want to hear that it’s alright to feel overwhelmed and that I don’t have to carry everything alone.

Even discussions about therapy often feel like a burden. Friends commend me for seeking help, labeling it as an act of strength. But therapy is a tough journey filled with challenges that can be triggering and overwhelming. Instead of praise, I crave simple companionship—someone who can sit with me in silence and say, “You don’t have to be strong right now.”

What we truly desire is acknowledgment: “You don’t have to be strong anymore.” We want someone to say, “I’m here for your breakdowns, your tears, or even your silence. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.”

Life is short, and we shouldn’t waste it on hollow platitudes. Instead, let’s genuinely recognize one another’s pain. If you care, reach out. Offer to listen, even if it means sitting silently while someone cries for an hour. It’s easy to label someone as strong; it’s far more challenging to be present.

So don’t tell us we’re strong. Instead, be there for us, embracing our struggles, and reminding us we’re not alone.

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Summary:

In this thoughtful reflection, the author expresses their frustration with being labeled “strong” during difficult times. They yearn for genuine support and understanding rather than empty compliments. By sharing their experiences and challenges as a parent, they highlight the need for compassion and acknowledgment of struggles. The piece emphasizes the importance of being present for those in pain and offers resources related to home insemination.

Keyphrase: Exhaustion from being labeled strong

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