My Child Is Being Raised by Two Moms — Here’s Why Pride Matters to Me

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Every June, the LGBTQ+ community takes center stage to celebrate Pride month. This occasion honors the Stonewall uprising, a series of protests that erupted at the Stonewall Inn in NYC in late June 1969. Since the first parade in 1970, community members and their allies have hit the streets worldwide to recognize our progress and the journey still ahead. While this year offers more in-person events than last, many celebrations remain virtual. I’ve come to realize that Pride embodies a mindset rather than just a parade, though I still long for more public celebrations.

Pride has always been a complex topic for me. I yearn to celebrate wholeheartedly, yet I recognize how overly commercialized and capitalist it has become. I find myself wanting to buy all the rainbow merchandise, but part of me also wants to return to its roots. It’s a difficult balance. I do purchase items that symbolize our identity because I appreciate their accessibility, even if it’s just corporations trying to profit. Imagine being a closeted child shopping with your mom and discovering an entire Pride section in a store. Or as an adult, seeing your favorite retailer show support for the community. While it might seem like capitalist propaganda, it significantly impacts visibility.

Visibility has always been a core aspect of Pride. The Stonewall uprising was a fight for recognition as human beings. The ensuing celebrations serve as a powerful declaration that our humanity and dignity can never be stripped away again. Watching countless LGBTQ+ individuals march in solidarity fills me with joy and envy. As someone who was only “out” to a few people for much of my life, it felt isolating to carry that secret. Yet, it was uplifting to witness others live openly during times I felt unable to do so.

I’ve known I was queer since I was around 12 or 13, but I spent many years concealing that part of myself. In the late 90s and early 2000s, I had never even heard the term bisexual. While I knew lesbians existed, the idea that I could appreciate makeup and fashion while loving women seemed foreign. My first experience with a girl occurred at 17, and my friends’ reactions weren’t as supportive as I had hoped. For the next decade, I confided in only a few people. I watched my more openly queer friends share photos from Pride celebrations, feeling a pang of longing. I wanted to join them, but I was terrified of not being fully authentic.

At 31, I finally embraced my bisexuality after ending a long-term relationship with a man (the father of my son). Even though I was out, I still hadn’t attended my first Pride parade. I wanted to go alone, but as a single mother, finding a babysitter proved challenging. I was determined to attend Pride 2020, but, as we know, circumstances changed.

This year, I hoped for in-person Pride events, particularly for my son. After meeting and falling in love with an amazing woman, I want him to see other families like ours. Our local queer friends don’t have children, so he’s only seen two-mom families on social media. Attending a family-friendly Pride event could allow us to connect with others and possibly make new friends.

My son is seven and at an age where he readily accepts diverse experiences. To him, having two moms is completely normal. However, as he grows older, he may encounter peers who challenge that perception, potentially leading to feelings of shame about our family. The early elementary school years can be tricky for queer parents. Kids can internalize their parents’ positive views, but peers’ opinions quickly become significant.

If we could attend a Pride parade and witness various gender expressions and sexual orientations, it would solidify the lessons I’ve been teaching him since he was young. He thrives on tangible experiences that reinforce what he learns. While books and TV can provide insight, witnessing these realities firsthand is invaluable. More importantly, I want him to see the vastness of the LGBTQ+ community. He understands what Pride represents and why we celebrate, but I want him to engage in the experience as much as possible. While we can celebrate at home, being present at a parade is different.

As a queer parent and Black woman, I dedicate much of my time to teaching my son about the struggles faced by our communities. We recently read a children’s book about the Stonewall Inn, sparking meaningful discussions about LGBTQ+ identity. I share stories of the queer elders who fought for the rights that his stepmother and I enjoy today. He knows that without the contributions of Black and brown individuals, especially trans women, we wouldn’t have made the progress we have. I also want him to witness the joy within our community when we embrace our identities without reservation. It’s essential for us to stand proudly among others, affirming our existence and claiming our space.

Pride signifies so much more than just wearing rainbows and parading. Despite the challenges the LGBTQ+ community has faced, we continue to advocate for our humanity and equality. I wish to honor the elders who made it possible for me to live authentically, while also celebrating my love and identity openly. I refuse to hide to comfort others. Yet, I find myself waiting for another year to fully experience it.

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Summary:

This article reflects on the significance of Pride month for a queer parent raising a child with two moms. It explores the complexities of celebrating Pride amidst commercialization, the importance of visibility, and the desire for a supportive community for their son. The author emphasizes the need for children to see diverse family structures to reinforce positive lessons about identity and acceptance, while acknowledging the ongoing fight for equality and recognition within the LGBTQ+ community.

Keyphrase: Pride Celebration and LGBTQ+ Visibility

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