When Oliver came into the world, his cries were loud enough to catch the attention of the nurses. He nursed voraciously, and after every feeding, he would unleash another round of screams. It was so intense that the pediatric staff thought something was seriously wrong. We later joked that it must be pretty bad when even the nurses notice your child’s piercing wails.
In our desperation, we eventually caved in to what we vowed we wouldn’t do—what every parenting guide warned against. We gave him a pacifier, despite the concerns about nipple confusion, breastfeeding disruption, and dental issues. But, as the CDC points out, around 58.7% of American infants use pacifiers. The moment he latched onto that piece of silicone, he fell asleep, and I realized that some children simply have an oral fixation that needs to be satisfied.
We started with the hospital’s standard binkies, the ones that made him look like he had catfish features. They frequently fell out, resulting in more screams. We then ventured into the realm of so-called orthodontic pacifiers, which claimed to be beneficial for dental health. But Oliver had a clear preference for the Binkie-Brand Binkie, which was surprisingly hard to find. It seems most children gravitate toward the rarest and most expensive options available. Once we found those elusive binkies, we stocked up.
Thus, we embraced our role as parents of a pacifier-loving child. Contrary to what many might think, I wasn’t concerned about the aesthetics of pacifiers. It was clear that Oliver had a genuine need to suck. And when I say “need,” I mean that if he wasn’t nursing, he had a pacifier firmly in his mouth. He was hooked.
According to orthodontist Kevin O’Brien, “Pacifier or non-nutritive sucking is common among young children, with prevalence rates ranging from 60% to 80%.” Clearly, we weren’t alone in this pacifier journey. This trend has led to an entire industry dedicated to pacifiers, pacifier holders, and even pacifier wipes; you can find these items at your local Target. In each photo of Oliver, a brightly colored pacifier accompanies him, a constant presence in his early years.
There’s a notable benefit to using pacifiers, as highlighted by Scientific American. A study indicated that using a pacifier during sleep can reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by up to 90%. This could be due to parents needing to reinsert the pacifier when it falls, prompting them to check on their little one.
Another advantage of having a paci kid is that they usually don’t turn to finger-sucking. I had a similar fixation as a child; my well-meaning mother confiscated my pacifier at 10 months, which led me to suck my fingers for years. This resulted in braces and a permanent retainer. I wanted to avoid that for Oliver. While a pacifier can be removed, fingers cannot be taken away.
Oliver remained a pacifier user well into his toddler years. According to the New York Times, prolonged pacifier use can have some adverse effects on oral cavity structure. While Oliver’s baby teeth aren’t perfect, his adult teeth are coming in nicely at age 7, and he has been pacifier-free for three years now. Dr. Abhinav Sinha notes a correlation between increased pacifier use and issues like ear infections and speech delays. True, Oliver had to maneuver around his pacifier to talk, which raised eyebrows among older generations, but we remained unfazed. He would give it up when he was ready.
Family members often questioned when we planned to take that pacifier away. I wasn’t about to strip away something that provided him so much comfort. We didn’t resort to cutting slits in them, donating them to the pacifier fairy, or simply seizing them all. Our parenting philosophy hinged on trust, allowing him to decide when to quit using it.
Slowly, we began to leave the pacifier in the car or at home. The last time we used it in public was during church, where it kept him quiet. Soon, it became reserved for bedtime. One night, we tried putting him to bed without it. It was a bit challenging, but we succeeded. At age 4, Oliver was no longer the paci kid.
Some might think this transition came late, but both the American Dental Association and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry advise that if children don’t naturally stop using pacifiers by age 4, parents should encourage them gently after this age—not necessarily by that age. Despite the criticisms from older relatives, we were right on track.
In an insightful piece on Healthline, Dr. Misee Harris states, “Thumb- and pacifier-sucking habits generally become problematic only if they persist over an extended period.” She recommends using a ventilated pacifier to lessen sucking intensity and minimize growth issues. So, if your child is happily sucking away, there’s no need to panic.
Parenting coach Barbara Desmarais emphasizes that children tend to let go of pacifiers when they are ready. Our experience echoed this sentiment. Oliver no longer sucks on pacifiers, his fingers, or anything else. At his age, I was still sneakily sucking my fingers because I hadn’t had the chance to naturally let go of my pacifier. Desmarais shares an anecdote about a friend whose children had pacifiers until they were 4; both are now successful adults and never faced speech issues, although one did need braces, which is common.
Will Oliver need braces? Perhaps, and it may be linked to his pacifier use or our family’s history of dental issues. But I know he needed that pacifier, and I’m grateful we had the confidence to allow him that comfort as new parents. He was the paci kid for a while, but it didn’t harm him; it provided him the security he needed.
So, if your little one is sucking away on a pacifier, don’t stress out. If they’re popping it in and out to narrate their favorite show, just breathe and trust the process. You can guide them gently toward weaning, but let them take the lead. They will naturally give it up when they’re ready.
And for those who love to criticize, give us a break. Every child has unique needs, whether they require a pacifier or not. As parents, we want what’s best for our kids, and if that means a pacifier for a little while, so be it. Just support one another and maybe offer a pacifier wipe if it drops in the parking lot.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Emily Thompson shares her experience as the mother of a pacifier-loving child, Oliver. Despite societal pressures and concerns about prolonged pacifier use, Emily emphasizes the comfort and security it provided Oliver during his early years. She reassures other parents that it’s normal for children to have oral fixations and encourages them to let their kids wean off pacifiers at their own pace. Ultimately, she advocates for understanding and support among parents, regardless of their choices.