I’m a Mom, Not a Servant: Setting Boundaries with My Kids

After a long day filled with work, fueling up my car, getting my oil changed, and grocery shopping, I was finally ready to head home. Suddenly, my phone buzzed with messages from my kids, craving french fries and milkshakes. Since I was in town, I decided to indulge them, thinking it would be a quick detour and a chance for me to grab a Diet Coke without leaving my car.

I returned home loaded with groceries and fast food. After putting everything away, I collapsed onto the couch, barely managing to keep my eyes open. Just as I started to drift off, my daughter came downstairs, insisting we make a trip to the dollar store. She had roped her brother into this plan, knowing how persuasive they can be, especially since they’re teenagers and don’t often want to spend time with me.

Truthfully, I didn’t want to go. I was utterly exhausted and just wanted to relax while watching the Property Brothers transform homes into stunning masterpieces. But the guilt of not seeing them all day weighed on me, so I agreed to the dollar store run, even though I felt like I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

The trip turned out to be a disaster. They wanted a bunch of things I knew were unnecessary, and their indecisiveness made the visit drag on. My dogs were barking in the background, and with my back aching from all the heavy lifting earlier, I found myself wishing I could just sit down and rest. Frustration built up, and we ended up arguing all the way home.

In a moment of vulnerability, I expressed to them how taken for granted I felt, like I didn’t matter and my exhaustion was overlooked. My daughter wisely pointed out that I should have just said no.

She was absolutely right. This has been a recurring issue for me since becoming a mom. My instinct is often to say yes, thinking that I should be able to accommodate their requests. But just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should. I need to communicate my love for them in different ways, and it’s perfectly okay to say no.

Telling my kids no doesn’t mean I love them any less. In fact, it teaches them valuable lessons about independence and self-sufficiency. They need to understand that it’s okay to wait or to find activities to occupy themselves.

You didn’t become a mother to stretch yourself so thin that you end up in tears over a simple errand. You’re not here to be a servant, always on call to meet every need. Instead, you became a mother to nurture strong, confident, and resilient kids who can handle the word no.

It’s natural to prioritize your children’s needs, but it’s essential to remember that doing so doesn’t have to happen every time. If you need to relax on the couch after a long day, consider whether it’s really necessary to push yourself to fulfill their requests.

In my eighteen years of parenting experience, I’ve learned that teaching kids to hear no every now and then only benefits them in the long run. I want them to see me taking care of myself so they can learn to value their own well-being, too.

For More Insights

For more insights and tips, check out this other blog post on home insemination, or learn more about the process at Make a Mom. If you want a comprehensive guide on pregnancy and home insemination, visit this excellent resource from the NHS: Intrauterine Insemination (IUI).

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Summary

As a mother, it’s crucial to establish boundaries with your children to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Saying no is not a sign of failure but rather a way to teach kids resilience and independence. Prioritizing your own needs and well-being is essential for both you and your children’s growth.

Keyphrase: Setting boundaries as a mother

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