How to Overcome the Weight of Criticism

Parenting

How to Overcome the Weight of Criticism
by Emily Carter
Updated: May 29, 2021
Originally Published: May 29, 2021

Klaus Vedfelt/Getty

During my time pursuing a master’s degree in viola performance, I was awarded a prestigious scholarship to attend the renowned Aspen Music Festival in Aspen, CO. The news came as a shock, and I feared that everyone who knew my playing might feel the same way. I was convinced the judges had made an error; there were so many other musicians who were undoubtedly more talented than I was. Though I tried to remain optimistic, feelings of unworthiness swept over me.

At the festival, my insecurities were reinforced when a fellow violist remarked that, regardless of what “others said,” she believed I deserved the scholarship. Her comment felt like a gut punch. Later, I found myself in tears back at my dorm and experiencing a panic attack during my lesson the next day. From that moment on, the idea of performing solo in front of an audience became terrifying. The opinions of my peers seemed to overshadow the judgment of the very judges who believed in my abilities.

The human ego is delicate and complex. It can foster unwavering confidence, deep insecurity, or unwarranted arrogance. Criticism can deeply impact us, depending on how we view ourselves and the source of that criticism. At the time I received the Aspen scholarship, I had not yet figured out whose opinions should hold weight. My self-worth was tied not only to my skills (and appearance, but that’s another discussion) but also to how others perceived those skills. I didn’t discriminate in whose criticism I allowed to affect me, which was a crucial error.

Consider the Source

Some argue that the only opinion that truly matters is your own, but I disagree. We are not isolated individuals; we are part of families, communities, and social networks where our actions have significance. We all have at least one person whose opinion we value. For instance, if my partner critiques me, I trust their judgment. The same goes for my sister, my mom, my children, my writing partner, and my supervisors.

It’s unrealistic to think you can disregard what others think entirely. The key is figuring out who in your life has the right to voice criticism that you should take to heart. For example, I occasionally receive messages from strangers online who claim I am a terrible writer. Their feedback holds no value for me; it’s often not a thoughtful critique but rather a petty jab aimed at my perceived weaknesses. These comments are easy to dismiss, especially when they’re riddled with typos.

You may have someone toxic in your life whose criticism is unnecessary and damaging. This can erode your self-confidence and lead you to question yourself. You might find yourself trying to meet this person’s standards to avoid their remarks. Remember, this person is no more significant than those random critics online. If they make you feel bad, their opinions are not worth your time.

Embrace Constructive Criticism with a Growth Mindset

Determining whose opinions matter is just one part of the equation; being able to handle feedback from those you respect without feeling devastated is another challenge altogether. When I first collaborated with my writing partner, she returned one of my pieces covered in edits — it felt as if my work was being torn apart. I was so attached to my writing that her feedback felt like a personal attack.

I had to shift my mindset. My writing partner was genuinely trying to help me improve and succeed. Her criticism was simply her opinion, and it didn’t mean I had to accept every suggestion. Once I took some time to recover from the initial shock, I began to view her feedback as an opportunity for growth. Writing is a skill where no one is flawless; my work is not my identity, and there’s always room for improvement.

It’s completely normal to feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach when receiving criticism. We’re human; we want to excel. However, it’s crucial to step back and assess the feedback. Who is giving it? Should you care about their opinion? If the answer is yes, understand that this person likely wants to see you succeed. So, dust yourself off and consider how you can use their constructive feedback to grow. After all, no one can fault you for wanting to improve.

For more insights, check out this blog post on home insemination which provides excellent resources. Additionally, if you’re looking for expert advice on fertility, visit Make a Mom. For valuable information on pregnancy and infertility, Women’s Health is an excellent resource.

Possible Search Queries

Summary

This article discusses the emotional toll that criticism can take, especially in performance and creative fields. It emphasizes the importance of discerning whose opinions matter and embracing constructive criticism with a growth mindset. By reassessing how we receive feedback, we can turn it into a tool for personal growth and improvement.

Keyphrase: Overcoming criticism

Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”