My Mom Empowered Me Against Facial Expression Gender Bias in High School, And I’m Thankful

honeybee on flowerartificial insemination syringe

The report card showed an “A,” but the comment from my teacher felt like a ruler striking my knuckles. While he praised my academic work, he criticized my “attitude” in class, attributing it to my facial expressions, which he interpreted as disrespectful due to my lack of smiling.

In simpler terms, I was just a 15-year-old with Resting Bitch Face (RBF). This term, which became popular in the early 2000s, describes a neutral facial expression that unintentionally suggests annoyance or disdain, often unfairly directed at women. The underlying assumption is that girls should always appear cheerful and warm, with anything less deemed as “bitchy.”

Fortunately, my mom was ahead of her time in rejecting this notion. She always took a measured approach in advocating for me at school, understanding that overreacting to every minor issue wouldn’t help. However, this was one situation she was ready to address.

She quickly arranged a meeting with my teacher. Though I was apprehensive, she emphasized the importance of fostering a personal connection to combat his misinterpretation of my expressions. Her goal was not only to improve our future interactions but also to encourage him to see beyond my unsmiling face.

As a mom of both daughters and a son, I witness daily the societal pressures on how they should present themselves. I can’t count how many times my daughters have been playfully chided by teachers for not smiling during morning drop-offs, despite the cold and early hour. Interestingly, no one has ever commented on my son’s expression or lack thereof.

Years ago, my mom noticed this double standard when I was still apologizing for my natural demeanor. The meeting she organized wasn’t about me admitting guilt—because there was none—but rather a chance for my teacher to see me as a more nuanced individual. And she was right; her intervention led to a college recommendation and a prestigious award from that very teacher when I graduated.

I can’t imagine telling my kids to smile more, except maybe for our annual family photo. They express happiness, sadness, anger, and everything in between, and their faces are simply their unique selves.

I hope my mom, an early champion against RBF, will see this outdated concept fade away. Meanwhile, we can all continue to embrace our varied expressions, including the powerful side-eye, which transcends gender.

For more insights into navigating parenting challenges, check out this blog post. Also, if you’re looking for expert advice on home insemination, visit Make A Mom, an authority on the subject. For those interested in understanding the process of in vitro fertilization, this Wikipedia page is a valuable resource.

Summary

The article discusses how the author’s mother helped her confront gender bias linked to facial expressions during high school. The author reflects on societal expectations regarding women’s appearances and advocates for embracing authentic expressions.

Keyphrase

Facial Expression Gender Bias

Tags

[“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]

modernfamilyblog.com